


Serendipity For The Wolves

by Cassia_X



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Love, Post-Advent Children (Compilation of FFVII), Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Unconventional Families, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27575291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cassia_X/pseuds/Cassia_X
Summary: After their constant strive for happiness, Cloud and Tifa find themselves in a completely unexpected situation which could change their family.Set 2 years after the events of Advent Children Complete.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart & Cloud Strife, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 24
Kudos: 53





	1. Reminiscing - Cloud

It’s early in the morning; it will be a long delivery day, but that’s fine.

I left Seventh Heaven while Tifa was starting to settle everything up for her usual daily routine. 

I tend to wake up after her in order to have the time to take a shower and get ready without interfering with her agenda.

“Have a nice day Cloud”.

“You too, Thanks Tifa!”.

My hand slips onto hers, this leads to an inevitable and strong eye contact, her crimson eyes gaze through me like they usually do.

“Will you come back home late today?” Tifa breaks the silence; by her tone I can see that she is visibly concerned.

“Yeah, probably; today is a pretty busy delivery day” I say in a very disillusioned way, making me suddenly more sulky.

She can clearly sense my drastic change. After all these years she can read every single one of my actions without actually needing words.

Her left hand goes to my back in a very gentle way; I let my right hand go over her back hugging her.

She steps back a little just to eye me in her usual yet loving way.

“So, will we wait you for dinner?” A smile grows on her face.

“Yeah, I think I should make it in time” I can’t help but smile back at her.

* * *

This particular delivery day will be pretty long. I have to deliver some packages to a supplier located in a small village near Rocket Town; this implies that I will need to travel to Junon. Once there I’ll take a cargo ship headed to Costa del Sol. After that I will resume my travel via motorcycle.

On the way to Junon I can’t help but to remember a lot of events that happened during these years after Meteorfall.

The Geostigma outbreak really changed my perspective on everything. 

I made some questionable choices, and I’m really thankful to Tifa; she really puts a lot of effort into everything, as a bartender at 7th Heaven, but also, especially as a motherly figure towards Marlene and Denzel.

In retrospect, I am also really thankful for the kids; thanks to their support and their genuine interest towards us, Tifa and I really put a lot of effort in order to overcome a lot of communication issues that were pretty much left unsolved.

This aspect was really crucial, but being open to confrontation was the first step towards finding a solution. 

During these 2 years the bond between Tifa and Denzel has really strengthened; now he really opened himself to her, and I’m really glad considering the fact that, during the first period after his adoption, he was really reluctant to the idea of talking about personal subjects to her. That was comprehensible, considering what he went through before joining our family.

I can clearly remember the very short sentences the he used to describe his life after the collapse of Sector 7; I also remember him slowly opening up to me. Due to the Geostigma infection, he was really frail, and his health was in a precarious state.

Back then, the thought of a family wasn’t really that usual for me; I wasn’t in a good place at all.  
I felt like I couldn’t be happy, especially after everything that happened just before.

It was a vicious circle. More like a spiral; a downward spiral caused by the sense of guilt about Aerith’s death, about Zack’s death, and about the damages that we had done as Avalanche.

I can still clearly remember Tifa breaking up in a heartbroken cry at the Forgotten Capital right after Meteorfall; her sense of guilt eventually overcoming her.  
She has always been a strong person, but after Meteorfall she was struggling with a heavy sense of guilt and insecurity.

At the time Barrett and I sensed her emotive turmoil; after helping us rebuild Seventh Heaven, before departing, he entrusted us Marlene, knowing that probably, this could have had some positive consequences for us and our relationship, and as well for Marlene; in retrospect, I’m glad he did it.

Sometimes we can still feel the reminiscence of the past guilt, but time has a very unique way to heal those wounds.

Everything just seemed to get worse after I contracted Geostima.

I was really afraid.

Afraid of the idea of letting Tifa and the kids know that I was dying; I couldn’t cope up with the grief that I could have given to them.

But now I am really satisfied about what we have built together, but I also have to thank Tifa for keeping everything up during my darkest times.

At this point I’m really accustomed to the idea of a family that it doesn’t sound out of place anymore; it just gave us a type of stability that we couldn’t even imagine in the first place.

After the long distance travel and having delivered the packages to the supplier, I notice the fact that the Fenrir’s fuel tank is starting to get pretty empty.  
The only way to obtain some fuel is to stop by Rocket Town.

4 years ago, this small town was the center of the researches made in order to find a sustainable energy source different from Mako.

We still have a huge debt to pay to the planet; Holy helped by purifying (apparently) Gaia from Jenova, so we couldn’t keep up the unhealthy rhythms of Mako extractions that, during the past years, became an infamous Shinra trademark.

In order to preserve the planet’s wellbeing, Cid, Shera and even Barrett (as he once told us after one of his usual visits at 7th Heaven) with their research team opted for oil, even though, during the first times, it felt like a strong regression compared to Mako; but ultimately, it was the best choice for everyone.

After entering into Rocket Town I start to look around for a gas station.

Nowadays people are starting to get accustomed to the idea of a gas station, which can provide fuel to anyone that needs it; after the initial hesitation, especially about the potentials of this new resource, people really started to get this idea.

I eventually start to wander around a bit into the small but active town.

After a few minutes I notice the gas station, and I head towards it. 

After parking Fenrir and turning off the engine, I pull away my driving goggles, and I approach the place owner, to which I buy a fuel tank.

On my way to Fenrir a voice caught my attention; I flinch at first, but then realizing who that voice belongs to I can’t help but to relax.

“Hey, you likely Strife, I’d never thought I would have seen you here!”

That gruff voice belongs only to a person, and that person is no one except Cid Highwind.

I turn to see him, he is grinning as usual; that typical mocking grin that really defines him.

“Here for business?”

“Not really”. I declare, showing the fuel tank in my right hand.

“Well, I was here for the same reason”.

“Anyway, how’s Tifa doin’? Is she at home dealin’ with your two little runts?”

I can’t help but snicker at his question. 

“Hope you’re treating her well; c’mon by now you’re pretty much a married couple”.

“I hope I’m doing well” I shrug, eventually unable to contain a smile.

“Well, you’re just the usual Cloud”.

“I always said that, between the two of you, she was the one wearing the pants” after saying this, he bursts in a very friendly (typical Cid’s) laughter.

“How is Shera doing? Is she fine?” I can’t help but ask him this question. I know this could probably sound like a usual routine question, but after she contracted Geostigma, four years ago, the situation became pretty tense for her, and I know Cid also became very attentive in her regards.

Even though by now she is completely healed, I can’t help but ask about her health; probably because during the past I emphasized with her condition.

“Yeah, ever since she came in contact with the church’s water, she eventually got better”.

“That goddamn Stigma… That thing really put her to a very hard test. I remember the constant pain that she felt during those nights, it was pretty awful”.

Cid’s expression is becoming increasingly more gloomy; I know the subject matter isn’t necessarily pleasant, and I can fully understand him.

“But now everything’s fine, so that’s the best we can hope so far… and the planet’s still healing, but that’s normal after all”. His expression has started to lighten up again. 

“Well, anyway, don’t be a stranger, if ya need anything, just let me know. See ya ‘round”. He then proceeds to step towards the gas station, disappearing into it, wavering with a small hand gesture.

After refilling Fenrir’s fuel tank, I put my goggles back, deciding to travel back to Seventh Heaven, knowing that it will take me some hours.

* * *

Being back in Edge is always a strange experience.

After the Sephiroth’s remnants attack and the Deepground incident, everything has become so calm to an uncanny degree, which is a possibility that I would have never taken into account.

The city’s architecture has become eerily familial. I’ve grown accustomed to it over these years as a resident; from here we can still see a glimpse of what once was Shinra; its building still visible from a distance, now serves as a reminder in order to never forget what happened during the recent past.

Thanks to Reeve and WRO, Edge which once was just a small city built to the east of the remains of Midgar in the outskirts of what once were Sectors 3 and 4, now has become a more welcoming place; during these years, a lot of new infrastructures were built, much to the city and the people’s wellbeing.

One of the most important investments made by WRO was directed towards the construction of a public school, and even a hospital; after Geostigma, a lot of thought was put into the sanitary aspect of the town; not to mention the fact that the stigma had some serious leftovers. Besides, the school was built for the many kids who live in Edge, a great number of them being orphans, in order to provide for their education; even Marlene and Denzel attend this institute.

Crossing Edge’s main road, I notice there are a few people wandering through the city streets; that’s perfectly normal considering it’s pretty much dinner time.  
After a couple hours long travel, I finally arrive at Seventh Heaven.

I park Fenrir in the garage located in the back of our house, and I decide to enter by the front door, noticing that the bar is still open (even though I suppose Tifa is about to close, given the late hour).

Entering the bar, I look around for Tifa, noticing that she is behind the counter, where the sink is located, washing some dishes; there are a few customers left at the tables.  
I eventually get closer to it.

“Good evening Tifa, I’m home”. I say in my usual quiet way, not hiding a faint smile.

Tifa’s face shifts towards me.

I can clearly see her smile growing with each second that passes.

“Welcome back Cloud” her eyes shine brighter.

“I was about to close, so I was cleaning the last dishes while the dinner is in the oven”.

“Marlene and Denzel?”.

Her right hand reaches towards my left hand, which is leaning over the counter, placing it upon mine.

“They are ending with their homework upstairs, they will be really happy to see you”. Her tone is loving as usual.

I can’t help but smile brightly at her words.

“That’s good. I think I will go upstairs so I can change and I will help you with the dishes”.

My clothes are pretty dirty from all the traveling, so I decide to change into a very simple black shirt and jeans, and then I head downstairs.

After a few minutes, while I’m helping with cleaning the dishes, so that Tifa can focus on the dinner, Marlene and Denzel also head downstairs.

“Hey, welcome back Cloud!” Marlene and Denzel practically shouting at the unison.

With a very quick rush they hug me, asking all kinds of questions about my day at work.

“How long did it take?”  
“Did you encounter any monster along the way?”  
“Which places did you visit today?”

Hugging them back and ruffling their hair, I decide to answer their questions in my typical short answered way; they seem to enjoy the description of the places that I visited, even though I usually tend to describe them with few words in order to explain better their peculiarities.

“Well, Rocket Town is a very small village; it’s very active despite not so many people living in it. It also has a very huge rocket, from which the town takes his name”.  
Meanwhile, I notice that Tifa is closing the bar, and then she is proceeding to clean up the tables.

Marlene and Denzel also join her in the task, making it easier.

I just watch them from behind the counter; there is something about this particular moment that is so comforting… I would even define it heartwarming.

* * *

After dinner, despite my intentions about getting a little break from work, especially at night, I decide to arrange some maps for the next delivery days.

Like usual, I decide to work on them in one of Seventh Heaven’s tables, in order to stay with Tifa and the kids, and not to disappear into my office.

Denzel and Marlene are sitting beside me, meanwhile Tifa is cleaning the dishes that we used to eat dinner. 

They always seem to be very interested in this part of my job; they scrutinize every single aspect of my maps, especially the very minimal painting of the towns that I draw in order to create an essential mental reference for my deliveries.

With her face still concentrated on the map Marlene asks: “Cloud, this place, Nibelheim, is this the small town from which you and Tifa come from?”.

“Yeah, that’s it”. I try to not sound so cold, despite most of the time my intentions don’t fit with the actual realization.

“How is it? Was it peaceful?”. She decides to inquire a bit more, her curiosity taking over.

“Well… in reality, not so special. It’s a small village located between the Nibel Mountains; few people still live there, so it is indeed pretty quiet and peaceful”.

I can’t mention, for obvious reasons, the fact that Shinra rebuilt the whole town after the infamous incident involving Sephiroth.

“And that’s where me and Cloud met each other when we were kids” adds Tifa leaving the back of the counter to get closer to us, the washing cloth still in her hands.

“How was Cloud as a child?” Marlene’s curiosity is really starting to overcome her.

“Well, I would tell you that he wasn’t so different from now. Yeah, of course he grown up since then, but he is still the quiet kid that I once knew in Nibelheim”. She says, unable to contain the huge smile across her face. 

Her answer eventually satisfies Marlene’s curiosity; she seems really happy about hearing this little detail from Tifa.

I also notice that Denzel is listening really carefully; I can understand him. He usually tends to not ask so much questions about our personal life, so he is very eager to hear every single one of our anecdotes, most of the times about our journey across the planet, or about our life.

“I think it’s starting to get late, it’s time to go to bed, or you won’t get up in time for school”. Declares Tifa, always keeping her typical calm and loving nuance to her voice.

After saying this, the kids proceed to go upstairs, in order to get ready to go to bed, leaving us alone.

“I believe you should take a break, you are overworking Cloud”.

She isn’t wrong at all; usually Tifa is the one who tends to overwork, and if she says so, I should take it into consideration.

“I guess you’re right, I’m starting to feel pretty tired”.

“I can imagine it, after the long travel that you’ve made today, you must be really tired”.

We then decide to head upstairs.

Once there, Tifa proceeds to tuck in both Marlene and Denzel.

I just stand in the doorway, smiling inwardly at the sight of this moment; by now it has become a routine, but every time I’m amazed by the nurturing side of Tifa’s personality; it is definitely one of her natural qualities. 

“Good night and sweet dreams”.

“Good night Tifa; good night Cloud!” the both exclaimed, giving a very happy smile to the both of us.

“Good night” I say in my usual calm tone; I can’t help but notice that I’m smiling like a goof.

We then head to our bedroom.

I decide to wear a casual T-shirt with trousers, while Tifa usually puts on a white tank top and shorts.

It’s been a while since we decided to share a bedroom; after all the travels around Gaia and the countless nights spent between tents and various inns, usually sharing rooms, this hasn’t felt so out of place.

But when it comes to Tifa, it actually feels very natural.

We both slip under the covers, deciding to not fall asleep right away.

Sometimes we use these moments during bedtime to talk about our day and other personal subjects; it’s more kind of an unusual “ritual” to reconnect with each other after long days at work.

“So… how was your day?” Tifa begins.

“It was pretty smooth; It took me some hours and a cargo ship to reach the village; aside from that it wasn’t that much of a deal. I didn’t even encounter a lot of monsters”.

“What about you Tifa?” I’m usually really curios about her stories concerning the regulars at Seventh Heaven; she is very considerate when it comes to her customers, especially the ones that patronize frequently.

“Today was a very active one, which is kind of strange considering it’s a weekday. Lots of customers came in just to stay at the bar and drink with their friends, maybe to relax after a tiring day at work.”

“I think, that is the part the I love the most: seeing people happy in a home like environment.” Her eyes sparkling with joy.

“I can see it from your eyes; you do a lot for them, even if it’s just listening to their anecdotes”.

“Oh… you think so?”

“Yeah, definitely” I try my best to convey exactly what I feel about her; but, as usual, Tifa understands what I want to communicate, even without words; that’s probably one of the qualities that I admire the most about her. 

I wrap my right arm around her, almost in a protective way.

She raises her right hand, which for the rest of the time was laid on my chest, up to my collarbone, her grip subtly getting tighter.

Leaning onto each other, finally our lips meet in a slow kiss.

We stayed like this for an indefinite amount of time, which felt like an eternity; when our lips divide, she is visibly blushing, despite the numerous intimacy moments we have had during these years together.

“Cloud…”

“Thank you… for being here; you know that I am grateful about everything that we have; starting from our family, and going to the job at Seventh Heaven, but you know, sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing my best, especially when it comes to raising Marlene and Denzel; probably these words will be useless but…”.

“No words are useless, you know; if you wanna talk, I’m listening. You don’t have to worry, I’ll be here if you’ll need it”.

“You’re doing your best, and the results of your actions actually show this, especially considering how things turned out so well despite everything we went through in the past”.  
“Thank you…”. She seems really uplifted, almost like if a weight had been lifted off of her.

Leaning onto each other for a second time, our lips meet again.

After our lips divide another time, I can’t do anything but observe Tifa’s gaze.

“If there is a person who should thank someone else, that is me; thank you for being so patient with me for all these years”. I blurt this out without even overthinking that much about it.

“I couldn’t let someone down; especially if that someone is the person that I love, and is also part of my family”. She is looking directly into my eyes, a huge smile across her face.  
Her words are so soothing and sincere that I instinctively smile back.

We decide to stay folded into each other until sleep overwhelms us.

Tifa is the first one to fall asleep; I can feel her quietly shifting under my grip, she must dreaming.

This is the kind of night in which everything is so quiet to a strange degree, no thoughts of the past invading this close and intimate moment.

After a few glances at her sleeping face, I get a little bit closer to Tifa; I then let my head sink into the pillow, sleep eventually taking over me.


	2. The Water's Surface - Tifa

“Excuse me Mrs Lockhart, can I have a ‘Seventh Heaven’ cocktail, please?”

“Yeah, sure; I’ll be there in a minute”.

Typical days at Seventh Heaven use to be like this.

During the evenings, the bar gets particularly crowded; people come and go, lots of them.

Throughout these years, the bar has become a landmark for a great amount of people in Edge.

If I think about the first period after Meteorfall, everything just seems so surreal.

We were broken, without a home in which to come back, and Midgar was in a poor state.

Barret, Cloud and I helped the survivors to rebuild what was inevitably destroyed by the strength of the collision of Meteor and the Lifestream.

It was during those times that we did our best to build a new bar in what once was the recently built Edge.

At that point I was so low that I couldn’t even think about a name for the bar.

We let Marlene had a say in the choice of the name and, with an innocence typical of a child, she opted for “Seventh Heaven”.

My sense of guilt was so oppressing to the point that I couldn’t let the recent past marked by death and sorrow sink into our present.

To Marlene, contrariwise, “Seventh Heaven” was a name associated with happiness and joy.

She lived there ever since she was a baby; Barret was her family, I was her family, Avalanche was her family and Seventh Heaven was her home; I couldn’t interfere with her joyful memories, so we opted to choose that name in order to commemorate what once was a meeting-point in Sectors 7’s Slums. 

I reach for the ingredients, and then I add them to the mixer, which is already half full with crushed ice, and I proceed to shake it in a strong yet balanced way.

Then I pour the drink into the glass, handing it to the man behind the counter, who is a young man, probably in his twenties.

“Here you are, enjoy it!”.

“Thank you Miss Lockhart”.

After the initial struggle, the business eventually started to get pretty good.

People loved to meet their friends and share a drink in an almost familiar context, and I was also pleased to make relieve the customers’ tiredness in this simple yet beneficent way.

During the first period after we adopted Denzel, the affluence to the bar started to reduce, mainly because of the unknown nature of Geostigma and the consequent fear of the people about it.

We never really minded the audience drop, as long as it concerned Denzel’s wellbeing we were willing to do everything.

But now, after the various turmoils that occurred during the past 2 years, everything has settled down.

The general atmosphere is very quiet, and even if it sounds strange, we are living in an extremely peaceful moment.

Today Cloud left early in the morning for some deliveries; he said that he would try to make it home earlier than usual, but I know his schedule is pretty busy, so I completely understand if he won’t be home in the evening.

But if there is one thing that I’m particularly glad about, is Cloud’s presence, especially after everything he went through.

During the first times, I had this strange sense of elusiveness associated with Cloud, and probably accentuated by his growing loneliness dictated by Geostigma.

I have to say that, even if he acts in a very stoic and quiet way, he really cares about our family.

He really cares about the kids, and Denzel really appreciates receiving Cloud’s attention (not that Marlene doesn’t mind though).

Ever since he took him home, he looks up at him as a hero.

I remember that once, Reeve called to inform us that he wanted to join WRO to become just like Cloud.

Cloud didn’t react conspicuously to the news, he indeed gave me a faint but sly smile, but I can tell that he was really proud about it… he just didn’t show it in a flashy way.

His young age was a limitation to join the WRO for sure, but even so, we tried our best to convince him that what he does on a regular basis is very important to us, so there is no need to push himself so hard.

Meanwhile, I serve some dishes for a family of three which is sitting at a table on the right corner of the bar, while I also manage to serve some plates to a couple of men in suit and tie; they probably are some employees on their lunch break.

Ever since we opened again 4 years ago, we decided that we should make it become an all ages free diner.

During the slums days, the bar was crowded, mostly by people who wanted to just drink, and even some drunkards; but now we decided that we needed to create a more welcoming climate.

Taking and serving the people’s orders has always been my main job; Cloud and I sometimes discussed about hiring other people in order to add them to the staff, but the earnings are pretty modest and we just can’t afford it.

I just try to do my best in order to provide the best service to the customers, while at the same time, I try to compensate for the lack of other staff members.

Cloud said lots of times that I tend to overwork, but I just don’t notice it, even if he is probably right.

It’s pretty strange considering his work schedule.

Ever since he opened the Strife Delivery Service, he has been working tirelessly, in order to make ends meet.

Sometimes he even surprises me by bringing new ingredients to improve some of my dishes; it’s an old habit that he kept over the years since we’ve started living together.

I really appreciate his attentive behavior, but sometimes I cannot do anything but feel a bit guilty, especially because I feel that he pushes himself really hard to help us in every possible way.

I know that he would simply dismiss any of my arguments about it with his calm behavior and his simple yet so effective speeches, but I fear that I might be taking advantage of it; I know this one is probably just another obsessive thought of mine, but in some way or another, it just comes back regularly.

* * *  


After a couple of hours, during the afternoon, in probably one of the quieter moments of the day, I hear the bar’s door opening and two figures crossing the entrance.

“Good afternoon Tifa, we’re home,” Marlene began as soon as she entered the bar, followed by a more laid back and quiet Denzel; her tone is jovial as usual.

“Welcome home!” I greet them as best as I can, but they are already all over me, hugging me.

I instinctively hug them back; their positivity is always welcome, it sometimes serves as a reminder to me and Cloud that we can allow us to be truly happy with what we have achieved.

“So, how was your day at school?”

“It was fine and really fun-”

“As long as it can get” adds Denzel, in a very sarcastic but also joking tone.

I can help but chuckle at his words.

Tossing their backpacks to the ground they quickly ask:  


“Do you need any help Tifa?” The expression on their faces in particularly serious.

A huge smile crosses my face.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it, but for the moment I think I can handle it just fine, so… you can relax, especially after your day at school; but if you have some homework to do you should work on them later”.

“Okay, that’s fine,” her tone is particularly understanding.

“By the way, do you want something, like some juice?” I ask them, knowing that they definitely need a break after all.

“Yeah, that would be great” Marlene seems particularly happy about it.

“That sounds great Tifa!” Denzel is smiling while he is also giving me a thumbs up.

I would lie if I say that his laid back attitude doesn’t remind me of Cloud; sometimes I wonder how much did he take from him.

Then I proceed to pour the orange juice in their two glasses, and I give it to them.

“Thank you, you are the best!”. They both exclaimed; their faces are brimming with happiness.

Taking back their backpacks, they head towards the stairs, with the intention of reaching their room, carefully enough to not let the juice spill on the floor. 

After the kids went into their room, I resumed some of the little chores left pending; after that I decide to wash some dishes, taking advantage of the quiet spot between the afternoon and the evening, considering the low people affluence.

The evening is typically the moment of the day in which the bar gets the most crowded, so I tend to get ready in advantage in order to not get overwhelmed by the numerous customer’s orders.

* * *

After a couple of hours few customers are left, and those who are still here, are drinking at their tables, which gives me some spare time, so I decide to clean some plates and glasses.

The closing time is approaching, so I opt to take care of these matters to not overwork later. 

My focus is still on the tasks, until the sound of tiny footsteps caught my attention.

“Tifa, we thought you might need some help, so we came to see how things were going,” this time Denzel is the one to speak first, Marlene follows him.

I try to greet them with the most relaxed expression I could give them, but judging by their looks they can sense how tired I am.

“I’m almost done, so don’t worry”.

“Are you hungry?”. I ask them, knowing that the work rates at the bar at pretty intense and I haven’t been able to give them the proper attention during the rest of the day; I’m almost certain they must be hungry by this time, considering it’s almost half past nine.

“Yeah, definitely”. This time Marlene answer first.

Tossing the washing cloth onto the counter I decide to start cooking for the kids; I prefer to postpone dinner, so I can wait for Cloud, in order to keep him company and have dinner together.

I ultimately decide to cook a plate from the menu: “The Chocobo Special”; it’s one of the simplest recipes that I have thought for the bar, but it’s probably one of the most balanced plates for the kids.

It consists in stir-fried meat seasoned with some spices.

I eventually serve it to them, who have taken a seat in one of the tables nearest to the counter.

Meanwhile, only a few customers are left in the bar, so I decide to close it, considering the hour.

That means that I can finally spend some free time with the kids, eventually approaching them with a lighthearted conversation.  
After dinner, we decide to get a breath of fresh air outside.

We opt to sit on the stairs in front of the bar entrance, right under the porch; Marlene and Denzel think that we could make a surprise for Cloud.

Sitting here I can’t help but to give some glances at the dimly lit alley, and I notice that even some people walk around nearby, which is kind of surprising considering that this isn’t in one of Edge’s main avenues.

The faint illumination, however, gives me the chance to take a look to the starry sky, considering that today the sky is particularly dotted with them.

Stars.

Everything started from it; a promise under a starry sky in a small country town.

Even now, after years Cloud still reminds vividly that particular moment that we shared together; of all things he has always been faithful to it.

And to a certain extent, I think that a promise is what also gives him the will to keep going forward and to preserve our family union.

I vaguely glance at the ring on my right hand. 

The wolf ring.

I remember the day Cloud gave it to me; ever since that day it took on the meaning of union, while also remarking the promise that we made years ago.

“Tifa… are you ok?” asks Marlene.

My eyes are now on her; she seems really concerned about me.

That expression reminds me the type of looks that she gave me during the short amount of time in which Cloud left us and stayed at the church; like always, she had the ability of reading though me, noticing every emotional drift.

This time, however, I’m not devastated like I was two years ago; instead I feel relieved by thinking about one of the reasons that kept us together for all this time.

With a smile on my face I try to lift off that sense of concern painted on her.

“It’s okay Marlene; Cloud will be home soon, so I’m happy to see him today”.

She seems really satisfied and relieved by my words, sensing their sincerity; she can’t really hold her happiness to the point the she abruptly hugs me.

I hug her back, also reaching out to Denzel with my right arm in order to hug him too.

“Everything is fine,” I say in a low voice almost whispering, while I also start to slowly ruffle their hair.

They don’t say anything, but they seem really relaxed and happy.

* * *

I don’t know exactly how much time has passed; I got lost in my thoughts, and I realized only now that the kids fell asleep, and I can’t blame them at all, it’s getting pretty late for them.

I decide it’s time to take them into their room; It’s starting to get pretty cold outside, and I don’t want them to get sick.

Just before I can get them inside, I get interrupted by the roar of an engine; That sound is so quaint that I can’t get confused.

It’s Cloud.

He just heads to the garage located in the back of our house and parks Fenrire inside it, as usual.

Then, he goes straight to the main entrance of the bar; he notices us from a distance, probably thinking that something must be off.

I smile at him.

“Welcome back Cloud!”.

At first his expression is pretty puzzled, but then he puts up a sincere smile on his face.

“I’m back Tifa… do you need some help?”. His tone is actually really soft, but at the same time he maintains a thin humorous veil in his voice.

“Don’t know about need,” I answer sarcastically, smirking at him.

Cloud snickers at my statement, probably because, given the situation, he would have probably answered in the same way.

After that, he gets closer to me, just to exchange a short kiss; then he proceeds to lift Marlene, while I do the same with Denzel.

Marlene must have noticed the drastic change, so she briefly opens her eyes, and meets Cloud’s.

“C-Cloud? You are back,” she seems really uplifted.

He just nods while smiling at her. 

We take them to their room, and tuck them in.

Denzel, who was fast asleep during the short travel, now woke up; his eyes are sleepy, but he instantly recognizes Cloud.

“Oh, H-hi Cloud”. 

“Hi Denzel”.

We say Goodnight to them, and closing their room’s door we head downstairs.

“You must be hungry, would you like to eat something?”. After his long travel, he must be starving, and I’m pretty hungry too.

“Yeah, thank you Tifa”. By his voice, I can tell he sounds tired.

Once downstairs, I decide to prepare a brief and light dinner for us; considering the hour, I prefer to opt for something that is easy to digest.

During the dinner we chat about the day, while also keeping the conversation in a lighthearted way.

When we don’t talk, we just enjoy the silence.

This is one of the most peculiar traits about Cloud’s personality that I love.

This kind of silence never makes me feel embarrassed nor distant from him.

The silence that we share together always feels relaxing in a way; it’s hard to describe it, but it’s another way that we have to communicate something; just being present for each other is enough, so sharing these moments together is always a pleasure.

After dinner, like we usually do, we sip a glass of some Corel wine, just to relax a bit before going to bed.

Cloud then, proceeds to change his clothes and brush his teeth; meanwhile I wash the remaining dishes, and then I join him in our bedroom.

Once we go to bed, we exchange some more chatter in our typical way; but I notice that sleep is starting to overwhelm us, so I decide to curl up against Cloud, and he just extends his left arm to hug me, in his protective yet tender way.

After a few minutes I can feel my own thoughts starting to get blurred, and at that moment sleep start to take over me.

* * *

When I wake up, it’s 5:45 in the morning, the hour in which I wake up to start to settle everything up.

I usually don’t need an alarm clock, my body has been adjusted to this routine ever since the Sector 7 days.

Today I feel like something is off, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Getting out of bed is more difficult than usual; I don’t know why, but I feel definitely more tired than any other day.

After getting out of bed, I realize that I feel dizzy, and also my head feels uncharacteristically heavy.

Cloud is still asleep, his breath is slow and steady; he seems so relaxed, after all seeing him in this state makes my heart flutter.

I get my clothes from the closet, careful to not make any noise that could possibly wake up Cloud.

I know it will be a matter of time before he gets up, but I don’t want to disturb his sleep; after all he had a very tiring work day, and I have a feeling that waking him up so abruptly won’t help at all.

The dizziness does not seem to pass, and to be added I’m starting to feel pretty nauseous.

I know that I’m probably getting sick, and these are the first symptoms (I’ve probably caught some cold last night).

I close the bathroom door, but I don’t lock it, it’s kind of a habit of mine.

I would normally be having a shower in the morning, but the nausea is starting to overwhelm me, as well as the dizziness.

God… It just doesn’t pass.

I decide to put the clothes in a basket beside the sink, ready to undress me and get into the shower, hoping that this feeling of discomfort (somehow) will pass.

But any of my predictions doesn’t go well at all.

The nausea ultimately overwhelms me, and I feel the urge to throw up, so I reach the toilette pouring out what was left of the last night’s dinner.

As if it wasn’t enough, I throw up a second time. My throat aches and I cough a few times as a consequence of the sourness of the liquid; my stomach is a total mess, and because of that I can’t bring myself to get up from the cold bathroom floor.

I think Cloud noticed that something is off, and the noises coming from the bathroom must have woken him up, because I hear the sound of his steps and a gentle knock on the door.

“Tifa?!”

“Is everything okay?”

“C-come in…”.

The door opens, and from his eyes, I can see that he is clearly confused and, at the same time, he is visibly concerned about me.

“I guess I don’t feel well,” I say, trying to put on a smile.

He grabs a towel, and crouching next to me, moves a few strands off of my face and proceeds to wipe some sweat from my forehead as well as some leftover flecks on the corner of my mouth.

“What happened?” I can sense that he is really worried about the situation.

“Nothing particular; when I got up, I didn’t feel so good, I was dizzy, and nauseous… so eventually I felt a strong urge to throw up. I think I caught up some cold last night when we were waiting outside the bar”.

“I see; your tendency to overwork combined with the cold really caught up with you. I think you should rest for today”. His tone is always so calm, yet so worried and expressive, despite the (only apparent) flatness of it.

Normally I would have put an argument against getting a day off, but today I just don’t have the strength to do so; my body is clearly sending me some messages, plus I think that Cloud is right, I shouldn’t be straining myself so much… at least for today.

“Do you need a hand?” He simply asks, a faint smile on his face.

“Yeah, definitely”. I chuckle a bit. 

He grabs me by my hand, and when I’m finally on my feet, he just takes me to bed again.

The mattress never felt so comfortable; the nausea began to pass, but I’m still worn out.

I try so hard to relax, but I automatically start to make a mental list about things that I should do to kick-start the morning at Seventh Heaven.

“I should wash myself”

“Do the laundry”

“Turn on the coffee machine in order to prepare the coffees for the customers”

“Wake up the kids”

“Prepare their breakfast and their lunches”

“I should buy groceries”

“And I should eventually open Seventh Heav…”

“Tifa,” I can hear Cloud’s voice calling me, but my mind is still wandering on my “to do” list.

“Tifa?!” I eventually shrug myself off from my thoughts; my attention is on him.

“You should just rest for today,” It’s incredible how Cloud guessed my thoughts so quickly; but again he is probably right.

“I will make your home tasks,” He sounds really concerned.

“And what about your deliveries?”

“No problems, I just need some time to get a shower, and I will be ready for it,” his willpower it’s truly amazing.

“Cloud…” I stumble upon my own words.

“Thank you…”.

“It’s the least I can do, after everything you did for me” he says shrugging.

“So… do you remember how to turn on the coffee machine?” I hesitated a bit before putting my thoughts into words.

“Yeah,” he sounds secure.

“What about the kids Cloud? No problems about preparing their lunch?”

“Don’t worry Tifa, it’s fine; I will figure something out”.

There were a few times in which I was sick, and Cloud offered to help me by preparing their lunch; as far as the kids told me, he did a good job, so I fully trust him.

“For now, just think about getting better, okay?” I can still sense a hint of concern in his voice.

“I will, thank you,” I say, still smiling at him.

The following minutes after, he takes his clothes and heads to the bathroom to have his usual shower.

I pull my blankets up to my neck; I’m really starting to get comfortable, my head feels so light; the dizziness as well as the nausea, by now, has finally passed.

As much as I try to stay awake, my thoughts are starting to get blurry again to the point that I can’t help but fall asleep one more time; initially I fall into a light sleep, so light that I can actually still hear what’s going on around me, but after not so long I just fall fast asleep.

* * *

When I wake up the house is bathed in silence; Cloud left for his deliveries and the kids went to school.

It’s kind of strange, considering that every day I wake up earlier just to do all the house chores in order to get the day started; but what is stranger is not being able to prepare breakfast for Denzel and Marlene.

Being accustomed to this routine always gave me some kind of certainty and stableness, even during our darkest times.

Getting up from bed feels better for sure… definitely better than it was before.

I realize that is 8 o’clock, so I slept for two hours straight, and that’s strange, but again, it was necessary, and I give credit to Cloud for that. 

I head to the bathroom one more time; my clothes are still where I left them before, on the basket beside the sink.

After closing the door and undressing myself, I enter the shower; I always thought that having a hot shower is the best way ease the mind and to get ready for the day, and I think I’m still true to my words.

The hot water helps me to relax, and at the same time I wander through my own thoughts, thinking about what happened hours ago.

I definitely feel better now, but the whole situation is strange; I don’t feel feverish at all, and that’s even stranger. 

After getting out of the shower and drying myself, I make my way downstairs, quickly checking if everything is in its right places.

The washing machine is on and it’s full of clothes; the coffee machine is on, and the kids aren’t home; I have to absolutely thank Cloud one more time.  
Before opening the bar I consider making breakfast for myself.

Even though I feel particularly fine, I can’t help but also feel a bit exhausted, as well as hungry… and that’s normal, considering the fact that I poured last night’s dinner into the toilet a couple of hours ago.

I decide to drink milk coffee and eat some biscuits, which is kind of my typical breakfast.

After that I opt to open the bar, a bit later than usual; I know I should be probably taking some rest, but I can’t help but notice that I feel pretty fine, despite being slightly worn out, so I decide that I will open Seventh Heaven.

The only compromise I’m on is to work at a slower and more laid back rate; I know I feel fine, but I shouldn’t be straining or pushing myself too hard.

Flipping the open/close sign to open I mentally prepare myself to a steady, yet hopefully looser day at work.

* * *

After all this morning went pretty quiet, and I’m glad for that, especially because I’m starting to feel slowly exhausted. 

Most of the customers went here to have some coffee or have breakfast. Starting from our typical regulars, up until office workers who had a brief stop here before heading straight to their offices.

During the afternoon the kids come back from school; their looks are filled with joy, but I can sense a hint of curiosity mixed with concern in their looks.

“Good afternoon Tifa!” Marlene begins, heading towards me, followed by Denzel.

“How are you?” they both ask in succession.

I am particularly surprised by their attention; I try my best to reassure them, while also putting on a sincere smile.

“Hi kids, welcome back; Don’t worry, I’m fine”.

“This morning I wasn’t feeling well at all, but now I’m definitely better”.

Even though they are smiling, their looks are quite thoughtful.

“Are you sure Tifa?” Denzel decides to inquire a bit more.

“If you need some help, we are here for you” Marlene adds.

“Thank you guys, I truly appreciate your concern, but for the moment I’m fine; if I need anything, I will let you know, okay?” I say, still trying to sound reassuring.

Denzel still looks pensive, but he eventually nods with a tiny smile; Marlene looks pretty uplifted by my words.

After our brief conversation, they head to their room upstairs.

I can fully understand Denzel’s pensiveness, especially after what he went through in such a young age; he looked pretty cautious… and he was probably really worried about my condition.

* * *  
During the evening, the bar gets pretty crowded; the situation isn’t particularly demanding, considering it’s a weekday, but people come and go regularly.

My attention gets caught by a certain figure who enters into the bar.

It’s Cloud, and he is home earlier than usual.

His figure has attracted the attention of some customers, who probably aren’t regulars; they scrutinize him in a curious way, especially after he approached me.

Cloud’s expression is particularly frowned.

“Hey Cloud, welcome back”.

“Hi Tifa, I’m home,” He looks puzzled.

His hand instinctively seeks mine, and when he reaches it, I place my free hand upon his, squeezing it.

“You came home earlier today” I try to introduce the topic.

“Yeah; I had some deliveries in the Midgar area, so it took me less than usual”. He looks really calm, although he is trying to hide his concern.

“Tifa… how are you feeling?” At first seems hesitant, but after taking some courage he manages to ask me about my health.

“I’m fine Cloud, I know I didn’t feel well at all this morning, but now I’m doing fine… even though I’m starting to feel pretty worn out by now”. After saying this, I can’t help but sigh.

“I can imagine it; you should have taken some rest… at least for today,” He sounds a bit more uplifted.

“Let me give you a hand” He says, smiling fainltly, in his typical caring way.

“Thank you Cloud, for everything you did for me today”.

He just nods, still giving me his gentle smile.

Cloud then, proceeds to give me a hand with various tasks around the bar.

He starts from taking the customers’ orders, to serving them, and he even provides me some help with dish washing; I know he isn’t that much of a talker with the customers, but he does his best to help me, and I really appreciate his efforts.

You know, somehow I still feel guilty about this; I fear that I might be pushing him too much, but at the same time I am also really glad.  
I’m really glad about having him here with me.

Glad about having someone on which to rely on to, during the best and on even during the worst moments; a significant other who, during all this time, helped us by keeping this family together.

Someone with whom it is possible to understand each other, even without words.

Someone that I love, and which I deeply trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are with the second chapter; let me know what you think, enjoy!


	3. Shift Of The Current Underwater - Tifa

During the last three days I experienced some other strong episodes of nausea and dizziness, and not only during the morning.

There have been times in which I have been feeling sick during the afternoon, and sometimes even after dinner.

Despite the fact that the situation seemed to have calmed down, it looks like I’ve had a relapse.

Cloud and the kids are starting to become really anxious about my condition… and I completely understand them; when everything seems to be getting better, I can’t do anything but to get sick again, and this contributes to making them worry about me.

Cloud and I discussed a lot, especially during private moments, about my health; as much as we value the kids and their relevance to us, we decided to not burden them until we got a grasp of the situation.

In the end, Cloud suggested me to go and see a doctor to gain awareness about what might have caused these symptoms.

Without thinking twice, I happily agreed with his advice; after what he went through he must be really worried, and I also am as much as he is.

Although the situation is starting to become pretty tense, I try my best to lighten it in order to maintain an atmosphere of serenity, but I believe that this is not enough to reassure both Cloud and the kids.

Despite doing his best to hide his concern, Denzel is starting to show signs of strong apprehension; I can see it clearly in his eyes and in some of his daily actions. Sometimes he assumes a very pensive look on his face, and when he notices my presence, he tries to shrug it off, as if nothing has happened.

This is another one of his character traits that strongly reminds me of Cloud.

Marlene is also starting to get pretty worried about me as well; although her way of showing affection and attention is different from Denzel’s, she is clearly concerned about the whole situation.

She tends to display her affection in a more action oriented way, in which I can’t say that she doesn’t remind me a little about me, and also Barret; furthermore, not knowing the causes of this disease adds an extra layer of stress that can’t be ignored.

On my behalf, I think the whole thing is starting to become really suspicious.

During the last few days I tried to point out what might have been the cause of all this, but I didn’t come to a solution.

It was only tonight that, listing all the possible causes, I come across what initially seemed to be an apparently unthinkable conclusion.

I might be… pregnant.

A cold shiver runs down my spine.

_It’s impossible._

At this thought, my heartbeat starts to race.

I can clearly sense a hint of panic growing in the lower region of my abdomen.

_Me and Cloud h-having a baby… It can’t be._

I can’t get a grasp of my own thoughts as they start to whirl in a confused way.

I try my best to dismiss this argument by thinking of possible elements that can refute it; I do what I can to prevent it, but my brain is starting to get numb, my thoughts start to overlap, and I end up losing my calm.

I decide to try to take control of my body by starting with long and controlled deep breaths.

Only then my mind starts to slowly soothe.

My thoughts regain their cohesion and coherence; the sensation of panic is eventually starting to dissipate slowly, little by little, as my mind also starts to think in a more lucid way.

Somehow, this thought still resides in the back of my mind; it lurks in there, waiting for the best moment to take over me, making me succumb to panic once again.

Anyway, this is only an hypothesis, clearly dictated by the anxiety of not knowing what could have caused all of this.

We’ve been through any kind of situation, and yet somehow I’m really afraid of this possibility.

My thoughts go straight to Cloud, who is in the bathroom brushing his teeth.

_Cloud… how could he react if…_

I plop myself on the bed, trying my best to calm down; even though this is only a possibility, I must take it into account and do something for it.

Right at that moment Cloud comes out of the bathroom, his expression unfazed.

He sits on the bed beside me.

He looks for an eye contact, and when I cross my way with his bright blue eyes, which they always have a great appeal to me, reminding me a glimpse of our past together, he asks in his quiet yet gentle way

“Tifa, is everything alright?”.

“Yeah,” I put on a smile, trying my best to sound reassuring at least to him, but I think my slightly frowned expression conveys a lot to him, even though I’m pushing myself to not look at least distraught.

After breaking eye contact with him I can see, out of the corner of my eye, his expression looking slightly puzzled; he is still clearly worried about the whole situation.

I realize I’m staring at a point in the room, while actually not looking at anything in particular; I’m definitely losing myself in my own train of thoughts nourished by a lot of “what ifs”.

I don’t know how much it lasted, but the feeling caused by Cloud putting his arm shyly around me, snapped me out of my cathartic state.

My cheeks blush spontaneously; it doesn’t matter how much time has passed since I started living with him and the kids, but the feeling of closeness between us always overwhelms me, making my heart flutter.

I meet his eyes once again, and in a low voice tone he just says

“I think you should just rest. You had a tiring work day; tomorrow we will figure out what to do about your illness,” a shy smile slowly crossing his face.

I simply nod at him keeping on a smile; I’m definitely tired, and all of this just doesn’t make it any easier.

Cloud is right, I should rest.

Having said so, we decide to go to bed; I stay curled up against Cloud, I guess is an instinctive action. He lays his left arm on me is his usual protective way, somehow succeeding in making me a little bit more comfortable and relaxed.

I can’t sleep that easily tonight; even if I’m tired, my thoughts are keeping me awake, and this is very stressful.

But as much as my mind is trying to fight his way against sleep, I can’t help but to be overwhelmed by today’s accumulated tiredness, finally succumbing to sleep.

***

The next morning, after waking up, I decide to have a shower in order to get myself ready for the day.

As per usual, I dedicate these moments in the early morning to settle everything in order to open Seventh Heaven.

After Cloud left for his deliveries and the kids went to school, I’m finally alone; today, however, I won’t open the bar at the usual hour as always.

Instead, I decide to go to the local pharmacy in order to buy a pregnancy test.

Cloud’s words are still echoing inside my head:

_“Tomorrow we will figure out what to do about your illness”._

_And what if all of this becomes reality?_

_How could he react to this?_

I decide to momentarily shrug off these thoughts.

Walking through the streets of Edge during the morning always gives me a sensation of relief.

Seeing a lot of people wandering around the streets of the city gives me a lot of hope about the future in general; it shows how people adapted in this environment after the consequences caused by Meteor and the Lifestream gushing off from the planet.

Somehow, despite everything, everyone did his best to rebuild a life, starting from scrap; this was probably one of the best aspects of Edge’s inhabitants.

No one had a clue about what to do with their lives, but they had the will to keep going forward, no matter how they felt guilty, or responsible about what happened to the planet.

After a couple of minutes of walking I finally reach the central plaza in which the monument dedicated to the victims of Meteorfall stands tall.

Two years ago this place was brimming with volunteers from all over the town, with the intention to help building this incredible monument.

Today it looks pretty busy; I recognize the faces of some of Seventh Heaven regulars, despite the crowd; meanwhile, some people are just engaged in buying food from the carts located in one the sides of the plaza.

Although the pharmacy was recently built, thanks to the WRO’s contribution, it is located in one of the older streets of Edge, which is still relatively new compared to Midgar itself or any other town on the continent.

The houses on both sides of the streets look like they were recently built, which is good considering the high activity of builders all around the town.

Somehow the city is still growing; if you walk around Edge there is a chance that you will see a lot of construction sites. This is a sign that shows how WRO’s employees and the volunteers are still dedicated to the people’s wellbeing, as well as the city’s development, which can be seen by the numerous infrastructures located all around the town.

After some of minutes I finally arrive at the pharmacy.

My heartbeat gets progressively faster, but nonetheless, I decided to cross the entrance and greet the pharmacist, who is a lady probably in her forties; she has a very welcoming look painted on her face, this somehow helps me to ease the tension which is starting to grow slowly.

I am rather embarrassed, despite the situation being one of the most common ones a woman can experience in her life.

Keeping that aside, I buy the pregnancy test, and after paying, I greet her in the most polite yet kind way possible.

…

Once back home, I head to the bathroom with the plastic bag, in which the test is contained, in my hand.

Today I didn’t feel nauseous or dizzy at all, even in the morning, and that’s fine, but now that I’m ready to confront the reality of the facts, I’m starting to get pretty scared.

I close the bathroom door and, going against my habits, I eventually lock it despite being alone at home.

After removing the test from its packaging, I remove the plastic cap from it.

Seconds feel like hours, and minutes feel like days.

The waiting is the most stressful moment.

Because of the silence, I can almost hear the ticking sound of the clock hands.

After some minutes, I finally decide to take the decisive step, reading the result of the test.

Two small lines appear on the little screen on the test, which means only one thing.

I’m **pregnant**.

I just don’t exactly know how to react to this news.

I’m stunned.

Even though I was starting to get suspicious during the last few days, I’ve always excluded this hypothesis.

Probably because of Cloud’s past, involving Mako poisoning and Geostigma.

Probably because of my physique, and all the damages that I’ve undergone throughout the years.

In any case, it’s not an option anymore; I’m pregnant… we are pregnant.

I don’t even know where to start.

Just like the last night, my thoughts are starting to swirl inside my head in a rather confused way; they are blurring and losing any type of lucidity or sense.

Cloud and I never took into account the possibility of having a baby.

Raising Denzel and Marlene was a totally different subject; they sure are our kids, and during the first period in Edge, they were the only glimpse of a normal family that we could have.

We were, and we still are very grateful for them, but the thought of having a baby somehow really frightens me.

_How would a normal mother react to this news?_

_How will Cloud react to this news?_

Everything is so uncertain to a strange degree.

We lost so much during the years, but we also gained so much; I can’t just get a grasp on my own thoughts again.

_Will we be able to raise a child of our own?_

I just can’t put myself together, there is so much to think, and so little time to process everything.

_Will Cloud’s past…_

I don’t even want to think about it now.

How am I supposed to tell this to Cloud and the kids?

I just don’t know where to start.

The sense of panic is slowly overwhelming me.

Like I did before, the first thing that I do is to start by taking some slow and methodical deep breaths.

As my thoughts start to regain composure, I recall what Barret told me four years ago just before heading to North Corel to settle with his past.

_“Tifa you can do it here. Don’t just take. Show that you can give too.”_

Maybe this was the answer.

Maybe this could be one of the next steps for our life.

I don’t know for sure, but I could probably start from here.

_“It all starts now. A new… a new life.”_

Cloud’s words after Meteorfall come back to me; they certainly had a different meaning back then, but now they still resonate deeply with me.

I still can’t get a grasp of the whole situation.

I think I should go and see the doctor at the hospital, but now I need some time to… process this.

***

Sitting in the hospital waiting room the time seems to not pass at all.

The white walls manage to make me feel unsettled.

Although there are some people in the waiting room, the atmosphere is quiet; so quiet that I can almost hear my heartbeat.

Who would have thought that I could have ended in a similar situation?

Probably my mind is so accustomed to what might be outside of the ordinary, that the latter kind of scares me.

My mind goes again to Cloud and the kids.

I can’t do anything but to feel guilty; during the last few days they didn’t suspect anything, and I haven’t even warned them about this possibility… this sounds wrong on so many levels that it disturbs me.

I continue to mull over this thought for a bit.

The sensation of anxiety is growing steadily, and the waiting only worsens this process.

My temples are starting to pulse as a consequence of all this.

If Cloud was here, I could have probably felt somehow relieved because of his presence, but I’m alone for the moment, and I have to wait for my turn.

My mind is obsessively trying to find out when all of this might have happened.

_We’ve always been so cautious, how could this happen?_

As I wander through my thoughts, I went back to one of our days off work a couple of weeks ago; normally this kind of days are the best moments for us to dedicate to our family in general.

So, considering the freedom of our day off, the night before we decided to dedicate it fully to ourselves.

-

I remember distinctly the feeling of Cloud’s body laid atop of mine.

I remember clinging to his shoulders; the warmth of his body was so prominent that I could have probably melted under his touch.

I remember the feeling of our lips meeting in long deep kisses.

My hands running through his hair.

His hands were resting on my hips, his grip tender yet so firm at the same time.

I remember the moments after; his hand was caressing my face, brushing some strands of hair away from it.

I also remember leaning with my head atop of his chest; his breath was even and so was his heartbeat.

He was so peaceful, a kind of expression that you could rarely see painted on his face; he often wore a more stoic yet darkened expression, especially when dealing with customers, but there were some few moments of tranquillity that he deeply cherished.

-

The tenderness of these moments together always brings me back to the night spent under the Highwind four years ago.

It’s uncanny in a sense, but I associate this feeling of comfort to that night.

I think that was the moment from which it all started; or, at least, as far as I can suppose it.

However hard I try to find an answer, I just can’t get over the fact that we haven’t been as cautious as the other times, and that still catches me off guard.

“Mrs Lockhart,” My thoughts get interrupted abruptly by a female voice coming from a room nearby.

I finally meet her gaze; it’s the doctor.

“Please come in”.

Getting on my feet I head toward the exam room.

She must have been a new doctor, probably a trainee.

When the situation occurred, or when the kids got sick, usually they were examined by Doctor Drake, a former Shinra’s doctor.

After introducing herself, she explained me the situation, revealing that she is an assistant to Doctor Drake; she eventually takes care of replacing him with his appointments when he is engaged in surgical operations or emergency cases.

After Meteorfall not so many doctors were still left in Edge, and the few ones who stayed here, dedicated themselves almost fully to the patients affected by Geostigma, at least up until two years ago.

By now the situation has clearly changed for the better; a lot of new doctors came in town to assist the ones who were already in activity here.

Her demeanor is quite friendly, while also keeping an aura of formality, which makes her look particularly serious and professional.

After describing my condition, keeping in mind to not omit any symptom, or even the result of the pregnancy test that I took this morning, she decides to run some tests on me.

During the whole process I’m really tense, but despite this, I try my best to be responsive.

After an apparently short amount of time, and after examining the results of my tests, she finally begins

“Well, Mrs Lockhart, both the blood exam as well as the urinalysis are perfectly fine; I also have to compliment you for your incredible physical shape”.

“Thank you…” I say, almost whispering.

The moments that follow are really pressing; I can almost feel a heavy weight in my stomach as panic is starting to rise, though she hasn’t yet confirmed or disconfirmed the result of the test that I took this morning.

“As fine as they are, they also confirm that you are pregnant; congratulations!”. She adds, putting on a bright smile on her face.

I initially don’t respond to this, even though I had the time to start to process this when I was at the bar about an hour ago.

“T-thank you” this time I sound really hesitant.

I frown my brows as I start to wonder through an unstoppable stream of thoughts.

My mind is definitely going blank.

I try my best to look functional again, at the least to the eyes of the doctor.

“Don’t worry, every mother takes it in their own way,” She tries to lighten up the mood.

“Y-yeah, I guess so”. I just can’t articulate a very elaborated answer, not at this moment at least.

“May I ask you if this is your first?” She looks sincerely invested.

“Yes, it is; my partner and I have been already raising two children, but this is completely new to us…”.

“I definitely understand how you feel right now”.

“If you need to ask me anything about pregnancy, don’t hesitate; every single woman experiences it in a different way, that’s for sure, but I can give you some guidelines, if you need to”.

By now she actually looks pretty concerned; her tone in very friendly and helpful; probably she might have emphasized with my condition.

“I truly appreciate it and I have to thank you, but I’m good for the moment,” I put on a smile on my face, trying somewhat to sound reassuring.

“Fine. Come back to see me if you need to schedule your first prenatal visit”.

“Yes, thank you, I surely will,” I nod, still smiling at her.

***

After returning home, I decide to finally open Seventh Heaven.

I don’t know if it’s for the customers’ sake, or it is to distract me from the recurring thoughts that come and go frequently.

Despite the commitment, I end up going on autopilot, and just doing every task almost absent-mindedly.

“Something seems to upset you, am I right Mrs Lockhart?”.

I raise my head to meet the concerned look of one of the regulars, a man in his sixties who usually comes here every morning to have a coffee and chat; he has been coming to Seventh Heaven ever since we decided to open it.

I put on a smile.

“Today I definitely had an awkward morning,” I reply, trying to not sound worn out as a consequence of the events prior to this moment.

“I can tell it by your look,” he follows, his tone is calm as usual.

“Not to be prying but, is everything alright?” he adds, still sounding concerned.

“Yeah…” As much as I try to sound serene, I must look pretty frowned, and judging by his expression, he sensed that something must be off.

“Understood; if anything troubles you, I think you should talk with your family,” He suggests.

For some reason, this answer takes me by surprise.

“When my daughter lived with me and my wife, I could tell when she was having some troubles just from her gaze; in any case if there is something that bothers you, you should talk to them, they will surely be understanding,” His tone is very sincere.

“Bottling everything up won’t do you any good”. He adds, keeping on a wise look.

Despite the simplicity, his words sounded really heartfelt.

Probably these words were what I needed to hear at this moment.

Sometimes I am truly amazed by the sincerity of some of our customers; probably this context has given them the opportunity to expose themselves in a more honest and open way.

“Sure, I will try,” I answer him, still smiling.

He looks somehow relieved, despite being external to the whole situation.

After this brief chat, I decide to resume my tasks around the bar, letting him sip his coffee.

…

During the afternoon, my mind goes one more time to Cloud; even though I started to metabolize the whole situation, I need to sort out _when_ I should be telling him about everything.

The thought of it continues to scare me.

If these two years taught us something, is that approaching the problem might be the best way to solve it, and being confrontational could be the best way to overcome the whole subject.

Still I can’t picture myself doing this abruptly.

Unfortunately Cloud will be out all day for his deliveries; some of his clients are located in various towns in the whole continent, so it wouldn’t be a short trip for him; he will be home probably by night.

That’s a problem for sure, but I can’t explain him the situation at night; that would feel inappropriate, and I wouldn’t like to unease him.

I think the best way to deal with the whole question is to wait until tomorrow.

***

After the kids went to sleep in their room, I dedicate some time to dishwashing and doing some cleaning inside the bar; I know Cloud will be home later than usual, so I use this time to do some tasks around so I won’t have to do them tomorrow morning.

Later on I decide to get myself ready and then go to bed; I would like to wait for Cloud, by I know that he would probably scold me if I would wait for him.

He probably knows better than anyone how tired am I after a long work day, so he doesn’t want me to get concerned over his working hours; if I would wait for him, he would probably use his “overwork excuse” to get me to bed.

However, this day really worn me out, especially because of the sudden news; when I think about it, it just doesn’t seem real at all.

Unlike this morning, I started to rationalize everything, but somehow, I feel like I don’t have the courage to bring it up to Cloud.

After changing my clothes, I plop myself on the bed, and slipping under the covers I try to rest.

…

Despite the tiredness, I just can’t sleep at all.

My mind is constantly retracing all the events of the past day, and I can’t help but to mull over all the drastic shifts that this pregnancy will bring.

**_Thud_ **

At one point, though, I hear subdued noises coming from downstairs.

It can’t be Cloud.

The lack of sleep in this case gives me the necessary strength to get up and head downstairs.

Before going downstairs, I decide to take a look at the kids’ bedroom, noticing that the door is slightly open.

The noise definitely came from the kitchen.

As I head towards the kitchen, I realize that a small figure is sitting in one of the bar stools, with a glass in his hands.

He notices me.

“T-tifa?!” He flinches, sounding surprised.

“Hi Denzel, is everything okay?” I almost whisper to him.

“Y-yeah, I was just a bit thirsty…” His voice tone has an unmistakable hint of fright to it.

As much as he tries to sound composed he is telling half the truth.

This is one of Denzel’s old habits; after having a bad nightmare, he usually heads downstairs to drink a glass of water in order to ease himself.

Sometimes traumas can take some time to heal, and Denzel’s case doesn’t make any exception; despite everything, he always forces himself to appear more calm than he actually is.

“Did you have a bad nightmare?” I ask him.

He doesn’t answer at first, but after a brief pause, he decides to tell the truth.

“Y-yes, I was still scared, and I went here to drink a glass of water,” he sounds pretty upset but also tired.

“Would you like to sleep on our bed?” I ask, teasing him.

At first he seems reluctant; he works so hard to look like a grown up man that he tries to maintain this facade to not be considered a kid, but he is one, and there is nothing wrong with it.

He ultimately accepts the request, the look on his face seems a little bit more relieved.

“But don’t tell anything to Marlene,” I say playfully.

He puts on a smile chuckling, even though his eyes are still sleepy.

We then head upstairs to Cloud’s and mine’s bedroom, and we lay down on the bed.

After Denzel begins to feel comfortable, I decide to put my right hand over him, holding him in a gentle hug, while with my left hand, I slowly ruffle his hair in a way that reminds a head massage.

This one is an old habit of mine.

Whenever Denzel suffered through the pains of Geostigma to a point in which they were unbearable, I took him in my bed, and sleeping hugged to him, I did my best to ease his pain, although there were no suitable drugs to cure the disease; sometimes I would even use potions to heal him, resulting in reducing his pain to a point of tolerability.

_Old habits die hard._

It doesn’t take long before he falls asleep.

His expression is really peaceful; it reminds me nothing like the troubled look he assumed whenever the Geostigma pains hit him the hardest.

Still hugging him, I continue to brood onto the same thoughts that kept me awake.

_If only Denzel and Marlene also knew all of this._

The sense of guilt is starting to return, crawling on the back of my head.

With a strong effort I shrug these thoughts away; I know that getting into this mindset wouldn’t be healthy at all, so I do my best to dodge it off.

This time, however, despite everything, the fatigue overwhelms me.

My eyelids are starting to close, and I eventually fall into a light sleep.

Not much later, still in a state of semi-sleep, I hear a low, hushed sound of boots coming upstairs, and subsequently I feel the weight on the bed shifting on my left.

It must be Cloud.

My eyesight is quite sleepy, but I can distinctly recognize his figure.

He moves quietly, careful to not wake Denzel up.

Then, he covers Denzel with his arm, eventually leaning his hand atop of mine.

Hearing Cloud’s presence gives me particular relief, so much that I finally fall into a deep sleep.

***

The next day passed in a particularly peaceful way; Seventh Heaven is, as usual, filled with people, especially during the evening; Cloud even came back home earlier than usual.

This aspect adds a layer of anxiety to me; I can’t help but to think that I should tell him everything, but this isn’t the right moment, so I decide to delay it.

I know this could be a defense mechanism that my mind puts up in order to not address the subject, but I have to deal with it, no excuses for me.

…

After dinner, when the kids go to bed, Cloud and I are alone at last.

Sitting in one of the bar’s tables he is still working on his maps, while I wash some dishes.

“So how was your work day Cloud?” I ask casually.

“It was quite tiring; the customers were located in several cities of the continent; this morning I had some deliveries to address in Kalm, Chocobo Farm and Under Junon”. He sounds really worn out.

This aspect fuels my sense of guilt.

_Maybe this isn’t the right moment at all_

I can’t dodge it anymore, I have to take a small step further.

“Cloud, you should take a rest, overworking won’t do no good to you”.

He sighs, but I think he knows that I’m right.

He puts his pen down and looking for eye contact he asks

“So… did you see the doctor?”.

This question catches me unprepared.

I don’t know how to answer to this; I feel like I did in the exam room after the doctor confirmed the result of the pregnancy test.

I break eye contact, feeling unexpectedly embarrassed.

I toss the washing cloth in the sink, leaving the back of the counter and slowly heading toward Cloud’s table.

I take a small breath before answering him.

“Y-yeah, I went to see the doctor yesterday…” I finally answer him, fueling his doubt with a vague answer.

Despite being silent, I can notice from some small details in his expression, his concern masked by a glaze of stoicism.

“She has run some tests on me, and she did confirm that I was fine, despite the recent symptoms” I add, still sounding uncertain.

I rise a bit my gaze and notice that Cloud is frowning, he is suddenly become doubtful.

“What about those symptoms? Is she sure that everything is okay?” He asks again.

There is a short pause; I take a moment to stare at the floor, then I briefly contemplate my own thoughts.

“Cloud…” I begin.

I start to battle up with the desire to keep this news to me for a bit longer; I know this isn’t right, but I can’t just make him worry so much.

I can’t. Not now.

We did so much to find a balance, and now we are back into the realms of uncertainty.

_One step at the time._

I decide to meet Cloud’s piercing gaze one more time; his blue eye infused with Mako are staring through my soul, pleading me to tell him the truth.

“I-I’m pregnant…” I blurt it out, feeling suddenly drained of all my energy.

Cloud doesn’t react apparently; his eyes widen a little, but he froze.

His expression is unreadable.

It’s strange that somehow, the person that you know the most, can bring out some aspects of himself that you might have never seen.

We’ve been through a lot of moments of insecurity together, but this is something that we have never truly experienced before today.

I lower my gaze, and I head towards the door, not knowing exactly what to say.

“W-we should take some rest after a day--”

Cloud reaches out to my arm.

“T-Tifa…” his voice tone is low.

Overwhelmed by the stream of emotions I reach out for Cloud, burying my face into his chest, hugging him in a sloppy way.

Cloud’s arms wrap me in a firm and protective hug.

Before I can say anything, I realize that my eyes are swelling with tears.

I don’t know what to do, but being in Cloud’s arms gives me a strong sense of comfort.

“Cloud… I don’t know what to do”.

“I’m scared, and I don’t know how to approach the subject with the kids… I just don’t know how--”

“Tifa, we will get through this,” he says, still hugging me.

“I’m scared too… but we will get through this,” he admits in a weak voice tone, almost like if he lost the last drop of confidence in his voice.

Probably these were the words that I needed to hear the most, from the most important person.

In the daze of the moment I totally lost track of the sense of guilt and the angst that I was feeling prior to this moment.

“We should take some time to process this, and work our way through it” adds Cloud still unsure about the whole situation.

“Cloud, what about the kids? We should tell them the news before I start showing, but…”.

“I’m afraid that, because of our past, something might go wrong”.

I shouldn’t be saying this. Not after what we have been through.

Taking into account the possibility of a miscarriage is quite painful, nevertheless I cannot ignore this possibility, even though it may hurt us.

Cloud understands, but he simply nods, not adding a single word.

I start to think that he is as worried as I am; leaping another time into uncertainty is a tough step, even for us.

Sometimes I’m glad about the fact that we tend to convey what we want to communicate with just actions, filling in for words.

Cloud just continues to hold me in a hug, probably as a reassurance, and probably because he needs it too.

I look up again, encountering Cloud’s gaze one more time.

His eyes tell a lot about what he is feeling.

“Thank you…” I mumble in a low voice, the tears are starting to fall on my cheeks, and I do my best to wipe them.

He doesn’t answer, but he just offers a faint smile, returning to hug me.

The tears are starting to flow again.

Probably this is all that I needed.

I needed reassurance.

The turbulent events of the past are what they are: a part of the past; I can’t still dwell on them; not now.

All that I need now is Cloud’s presence.

We will have to start thinking about what to do, but for the moment I need to feel his embrace.

Alone, I probably wouldn’t know how to handle all of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are with the third chapter; things are starting to move!  
> Let me know what you think


	4. Howls - Cloud

_“Cloud…” Tifa’s voice tone has darkened._

_She is staring at the floor, while also attentively contemplating her thoughts._

_Her look is rather doubtful; she almost seems torn at the idea of telling me what she is thinking._

_She is probably scared about my reaction._

_This perspective frightens me deeply._

_After all these years, Tifa and I share a bond based on trust upon each other, but somehow, seeing her like this makes me regret the unhealthy decision of leaving her and the kids alone after contracting Geostigma._

_What if she caught an incurable disease?_

_She knows more than anyone how profoundly I was devastated two years ago; she probably thinks that, after telling me this unpleasant news I would fall again into a spiral of guilt and self loathing, and eventually I would sink back into escapism._

_I can understand how she feels about the whole subject._

_Life has proven us many times how an unexpected turn of events can take away your loved ones, leaving you alone and without a purpose except but to survive._

_We faced this scenario many times and, painfully, but slowly, we came out of it._

_This time, however…_

_I mustn’t always think about the worst outcomes, even though this aspect is an undeniable part of me; I can’t run away from reality and, even if Tifa hasn’t said a single word about the whole subject yet, I can’t help but thinking about the worse._

_Tifa slowly raises her ruby gaze, which now meets mine._

_Her eyes always have a strong undertone, typical for Tifa; yet somehow they also have a more subtle and less perceivable melancholy, which strikes me silently._

_After a moment of hesitation, she decides to gather all her courage, almost like if she is holding her breath ready to dive underwater._

_“I-I’m pregnant”._

_Those words dropped heavily from Tifa’s mouth._

_This news hit me like an unexpected punch in the gut._

_So this was the source of those symptoms._

_I froze in the place._

_My eyes widen almost like a spontaneous reaction._

_I don’t extactly know **how** to process this._

_My mind is utterly confused; I try my best to concentrate exactly on how to be supportive to Tifa, but I also think about what consequences this event might cause for us._

_A baby, for me and Tifa?_

_I try to momentarily get across this thought, but I inevitably stumble upon it more than once; my mind is incapable of getting a grasp about this news._

_I can’t help but to think about how my Shinra stained past could possibly influence this pregnancy, as well as Tifa herself._

_My tendency to overthink gave the opportunity to fear to creep into my mind._

_It lurks, silent and dark as a shadow… just like in the past._

_I’m starting to become increasingly more frightened by each second that passes._

_I don’t exactly realize how much time has passed since silence fell upon us._

_Tifa briefly raises again her gaze, only to meet mine one more time; I don’t exactly know how I must have looked to her, but I’m still shaken by the recent events._

_Her expression appears almost flustered, while keeping an aura of pensiveness and consternation._

_As if ashamed she lowers her look, somehow making me feel guiltier; she then, proceeds to head towards the door that leads to the stairs._

_“W-we should take some rest after a day--” Tifa breaks the silence, while also continuing to head towards the door._

_Her words sound weak, and judging by her look, she must be very tired after everything she went through today._

_I can’t bear to see Tifa in this state; even if she said those words she is clearly devastated, and her behavior is more of a defensive mechanism to avoid confrontation._

_I’m acquainted with this subject very well, much to my despise, so seeing her in this state really torns me apart as well._

_I know that when Tifa finds herself facing a devastating situation accompanied by a strong emotional turmoil, she takes risky and drastic actions._

_When she was eight years old, her mother died; she was in a deep grief, and she decided to head off to Mount Nibel, in which legend state that, the souls of the people who dies cross the mountains one last time before joining the Lifestream._

_Tifa thought that if she reached the top of the mountain, she could have seen her mother one more time, but instead she put her life to risk; the kids who came with her, abandoned her after the first difficulties. I followed her all along the way, until she took a misstep and fell from an unsafe bridge._

_I tried to help her, but I fell along with Tifa. I got away with a pair of skinned knees, but she stayed in a coma for seven days. I felt really guilty for what happened to her. Her father couldn’t stand me; he thought I was a bad influence on her._

_During the Avalanche days, when we bombed Mako Reactor from Sector 5, and I subsequently fell straight into the church in the slums, Tifa thought I was gone; as a consequence she then decided to go into a secret mission which consisted in infiltrating herself into the Don Corneo’s palace at the Wall Market._

_Even though her goal was to obtain some extremely important infos about the Shinra’s plan to make the Sector 7’s pillar collapse, she put herself in an extremely dangerous situation; when it comes to Corneo, danger and double dealing are pretty much his epitome._

_I know that Tifa feels extremely exhausted, and I just can’t interfere into other people’s personal spaces, but I also think that I should do something for her._

_Letting her go upstairs alone without showing her my support won’t do her any good._

_I have to do something._

_There is a lot to think about, but we will work slowly, and this should be only the first step._

_I reach out for her arm, grabbing it gently._

_“T-Tifa…” I say in a low voice tone; I feel at a loss of words._

_Her expression conveys so much about what she feels. She is in a strong emotional breakdown, and it’s completely understandable, giving the situation._

_She instinctively buries her face into my chest, sloppily putting her arms around my waist in a hug; she is probably seeking some comfort and I can’t blame her for this._

_I hug her back; I know this could give her some peace, so I do my best to hold her in a gentle and caring way._

_As much as it does for Tifa, I feel a bit more uplifted._

_“Cloud… I don’t know what to do”. Tifa breaks the silence, her voice tone sounds uncertain._

_“I’m scared, and I don’t know how to approach the subject with the kids… I just don’t know how--”_

_“Tifa, we will get through this,” I blurt out these words without overthinking too much; no matter what will happen, I will stay by Tifa’s side, that’s what I know for sure._

_My voice tone is weak now, but I know that we must reassure ourselves, and this one is a starting point for us._

_“I’m scared too… but we will get through this,” I decide to finally admit it; this sounds more like an intimate thought, but I know that, deep down, Tifa knew how I would feel about it._

_A new life, a newborn life born by us._

_I still can’t get a grasp of the whole situation; it just seems surreal._

_How could I… I thought that all the mako injections had a strong impact on me, and the Jenova cells…_

_“We should take some time to process this, and work our way through it,” I declare not knowing if I say these words only as a supporting value, or to wipe away momentarily these thoughts from my mind._

_Tifa’s gaze in now back on me; her eyes are slightly reddened and swelling with tears._

_“Cloud, what about the kids? We should tell them the news before I start showing but…”._

_A short but heavy moment of silence passes between us._

_“I’m afraid that, because of our past, something might go wrong”._

_This sentence feels like a stab in my back._

_I sure thought about this, but hearing it leaves me stunned._

_Our past shaped inevitably who we are now, but until now I never thought about the consequences that it could have had if we ever decided to have biological children._

_I never thought about this probably because our family was what we deeply cherished for how it was, so we never actually took this into account in a serious manner._

_Not until now._

_No matter what will happen, I should reassure and support Tifa; we will face whatever will come **together**._

_I still feel like I’m at a loss for words, and I only manage to nod at her, hoping she will understand what I want to communicate, as her usual._

_Her expression reveals much of what she is feeling._

_She raises her head one more time, making eye contact._

_“Thank you…” Tifa mumbles in a low voice._

_Tears are now starting to fall down her cheeks, and she is making an effort to wipe them._

_I give her in return a faint smile; seeing her cry in this way hits me strongly, but being together to face this particular moment it’s enough for me; it gives me for sure a kind of cloneness that I thought I would have never experienced._

_I decide to pull her close to me one more time, returning to hug her._

_By doing this, I hope I can ease her from her thoughts for the moment._

_I know that she is still confused by the whole situation, as much, if not more, as I am, but we will work our way through it._

_It probably won’t be easy, and I’m sincerely scared about it, but we will, somehow do our best to reach some stability again._

_We will have to adapt to this new familial environment, and we don’t exactly know how the kids will react to this sudden news._

_This thought keeps coming back to me frequently; I feel like I am really concerned about this aspect._

_Marlene will probably react in her jovial and positive way, but I’m not entirely sure about Denzel; he will probably be happy too, but I’m afraid about the consequences this could have on him._

_I should keep this in mind, even though we haven’t even decided when we will tell them everything._

_We will have to think about it, but for the moment I have to be here with Tifa to support her; she did the same during my darkest times, and I feel like this is the best way to show her how much I care for her._

_* * *_

A week has passed since Tifa told me the unexpected news.

As usual, today I’m taking care of some deliveries in the continent; in a certain sense, being alone in these specific occasions gives me the time the look back and think about a lot of subjects of our daily life, especially in this moment.

In some ways everything still looks surreal to me; the thought of us having a baby still surprises me, as well as scares me still.

We haven’t decided yet when we will tell everything to the kids, but even if we didn’t approach the subject now, I know that, in some form, it will come back to us.

Time is starting to run short, and we should tell them everything before Tifa will start showing some **evident signs** , or they will find it by themselves.

We usually value their influence on us very strongly, and we know that, if they’ll understand what’s happening before we tell them, that would feel like a strong case of lack of confidence towards them.

We wouldn’t like this to happen at all, so we should decide when we’ll have to confront the subject with the kids, much like a family.

Because of Tifa’s pregnancy, I decided to reorganize my work schedule; I took this decision in order to dedicate myself more to our family, and also to spend more time with Tifa.

I know that she will try to politely decline my efforts to help her, but I would like to be around our house more frequently, just in the case she might need some help with the bar.

Even though she always does her best to always be active, wheter it is at Seventh Heaven, or at home, she won’t need to strain herself too much, especially considering her new condition.

Keeping this in mind, I rescheduled my delivery agenda; for this purpose I decided to dedicate the week days to the deliveries all over the continent in order to not work until late at night and obviously, to be more present at home.

Being careful to not overlook the most demanding deliveries, I opted one day of the weekend to dedicate myself entirely to intercontinental deliveries, which are the most expensive in terms of time, but at the same time, they guarantee excellent wages; which is not bad considering our - soon to be - changing family situation.

There are still a lot of things that we have to talk about, especially when it comes to the consequences that having a baby will bring.

Somehow, it is during these moments, despite the effort, that the darkest thoughts always come to me, finding a weak spot in my mind in which they infiltrate.

_What if… the Jenova cells…_

_Are there any chances that something that has me involved, could be normal by any means?_

These thoughts are surely becoming an obsession and a recurring mantra in which I keep stumbling upon, especially during the loneliest moments.

Should I bring this argument to Tifa? I don’t know; as a result of this, I start to feel guilty.

Guilty about something in which I couldn’t exactly put my fingers on.

No, I just can’t.

I just can’t overwhelm Tifa with this stream of negative thoughts; not _now_.

As we always did throughout these years, we will be supportive towards each other, that’s what I will do for sure.

As I ride the road that will take me to Kalm, I begin to see the small town from a distance; this signifies only that I’m slowly getting closer to Midgar.

I will be home in the early afternoon, which is particularly unexpected considering my usual working hours; but again, if my presence could be useful for Tifa, I will do my best to help her.

…

After arriving at home, I park Fenrir into the garage in the back; I turn off the engine and head straight into the bar from the main entrance. It’s kind of a habit of mine that lets Tifa know that I have arrived home in order to not scare her and catch her off guard by entering from the back door.

Crossing the entrance I can’t help but notice how quiet it is; I don’t see any customers sitting at the tables, but I guess it’s pretty normal, considering the hour, the affluence of clients is generally very low, acting as a counterweight for the evening, which is one of the busiest time slots.

As my mind starts to wander, my eyes instinctively search around the bar for Tifa.

I notice that she is sitting on one of the tables while she is intent on writing something in a black diary.

Her attention is probably caught by the sound of my footsteps on the wooden floor as she now looks up at me in an astonished way.

“Oh, welcome back Cloud, you came back pretty early today, I wasn’t expecting it,” she says, putting on a bright smile; judging by her reaction, she seems truly surprised to see me.

“Hi Tifa, I’m home,” I greet her back, not hiding a faint smile forming on my lips.

“Sorry, if I knew you were coming this early, I would have prepared something,” Tifa begins.

“I was working on the inventory in order to take into account the marked goods to order them from the supplier; sorry, I was lost in my own world, ” as she says this, she looks pretty worried.

“Tifa, calm down, there’s no need to stress yourself too much”.

She just stops and letting out a heavy sigh she says:

“Yeah, I think you are right… it’s just that everything feels strongly atypical since last week, and I’m starting to feel pretty worn out too…” She must have had a rough morning, at least judging by her words and her tone.

“Do you need some help around the bar?” I ask in a sincere way.

“Cloud, I truly appreciate it, really; but I think I can manage it pretty well!” She sounds particularly determined.

As usual, I think she is up with her overworking habit, but I don’t want to inquire more, leaving her some space; even though I deeply trust her decisions, I wouldn’t like to see Tifa overexert just to prove herself that she can keep up with her hardworking routine even in this newfound condition. 

“You know what? I’m starting to feel pretty hungry; would you like too eat something?” Tifa breaks the silence asking this so casually; her tone is pretty upbeat.

“Yeah, sure”.

“I can’t imagine how it feels after a long delivery morning,” continues Tifa.

As she says this, heading towards the area behind the counter, she proceeds to turn on the stove in order to cook for lunch; she appears to be cooking some type of meat, but I can’t exactly distinguish it from my seat.

As she intent on cooking, I can’t help but to casually look at her figure, trying to find some slight changes in her physique; it’s an almost instinctive action, probably dictated by the fact that I still can’t fully metabolize everything, also finding an evidence or a change in her shape would contribute to make everything feel more “real” to my eyes.

No matter how much I look at her, I still haven’t noticed any drastic change to her physical shape; it might be the fact that she is still in the earlier stages of her pregnancy. By now I think I’m unconsciously staring at her.

I can’t deny that Tifa always had an undeniable motherly undertone to her temperament, yet somehow the idea of her becoming a mother for a life growing inside of her still takes me unprepared, probably because it all has to do even with _me_.

 _It has to do with me_.

Not again. For Tifa’s sake. Not again.

While I take my eyes off her, I start to mull over a thought in which I had not reasoned about it yet.

I am going to be… a _father_.

This perspective shakes me from the foundations.

Ever since I was a kid, I never had a father, nor a father figure to accompany me during my growth. I was raised only by my mother; she never made me miss anything despite being an only woman to raise a child.

As much as my mother told me, my father died when I was a newborn baby, making it impossible for me to know him.

Ever since I started living with Tifa, four years ago, we decided to stay united and considered ourself a family; as a consequence of this, we acted as parental figures towards Marlene and Denzel, even though I hardly considered myself much of a parent. Tifa reassured me a lot of times on the subject during the years, and slowly and over time I grew comfortably into this role.

But now, I know for sure that everything will be different.

This new life will consider _us_ as his or her parents, a bond that goes beyond any logical reasoning and doesn’t even need to be questioned to be understood.

I actually never thought seriously about having children; Tifa and I discussed the subject a few times, but this possibility was so tied to the future that we hadn’t taken it too seriously, not until a week ago.

The idea of raising Marlene and Denzel was the only reality closer to parenthood we could have ever experienced, and we were deeply grateful for that, but now everything is slowly starting to feel more concrete to a point that I feel bewildered from the very idea.

Suddenly the sounds of the plates touching the table interrupts my trail of thoughts.

“Here you are,” says Tifa smiling.

I just smile back in return.

She proceeds to take a seat beside me.

“It’s a spiced Chocobo fillet, I hope you will enjoy it,” she adds sounding almost proud of her work.

“It sounds good,” I declare, in a honest and satisfied way.

As we start to eat I realized that, probably, I will never get used to Tifa’s cooking; her skills are certainly no mystery, especially among Seventh Heaven clients; despite this, I always end up being amazed.

A gentle and soothing silence is now permeating the whole atmosphere around us; it definitely feels comfortable.

“Cloud…” Tifa gently interrupts our moment of silence; she has my full attention now.

“I think we should tell everything to the kids, ” Another brief moment of silence follows her words.

“I-I know everything is so uncertain, but… we should, at least, inform them about the whole situation; if we explain it to them, they will surely understand, ” As she says this, she reaches my hand with hers, and she gently squeezes it.

I reciprocate the gesture, and as I do so, I make eye contact; Tifa’s eyes ooze almost a glimmer of guilt.

I nod at her in an understanding manner.

“To me it sounds fine,” I instinctively smile at her.

“But, how do you feel about it?”

“Well… I was actually starting to feel guilty; you know, I felt like keeping this all to myself was in some ways, a lack of trust towards you, and to Marlene and Denzel as well, but now I’m definitely starting to feel lighter”.

“I can understand you,” The dark stains of the past always find a way to emerge in my mind one more time.

“Now we should think about _when_ we will tell them about this,” she sounds uncertain.

“Maybe we can wait until this evening; even though they will be back in a couple of hours, telling them a news such as this here doesn’t sound so comforting,” she adds.

“I agree, Seventh Heaven doesn’t look so intimate when it’s filled with customers,” I declare in a pretty spontaneous way.

“Yeah, definitely,” she almost chuckles upon hearing my statement.

“Speaking about Seventh Heaven, I haven’t thought about how I will handle the whole business during the late pregnancy period,” Tifa assumed a thoughtful air.

“I don’t think the customers would like to see me waddling around the bar,” she adds in a playful manner, not holding back a laugh.

“Maybe I could ask Yuffie to lend me a ha--” she just stops, as if everything has triggered a chain reaction of thoughts; she has suddenly assumed a frowned expression.

“Tifa… is everything okay?” I can’t help but to dig into her concern.

“Y-yeah, it’s just that… I just realized that we haven’t even thought about telling this news to the others”.

Only in this moment I do realize that I have totally forgotten this aspect; the myriad of thoughts that gripped me totally distracted me to a point in which I haven’t even thought about informing the other guys about this important change for us.

“I completely understand you; I totally forgot it myself, but now we have to think first about informing the kids, then we will think about it; one step at a time,” I point this aspect out, trying to sound comforting.

Going step by step is one of the most effective ways to sort out a problem, or at least, that’s how I always approached stressful situations.

“I guess you are right; we will think about it later. Promised?” she reciprocates with a bright smile.

“I promise” I answer with no hesitation.

“Thank you, Cloud”.

These simple words, somehow, strung a chord with me; probably seeing her so cheerful in such a tense moment like this is a good sign, and for me that’s enough to feel relieved about Tifa.

Even though she is a strong person, probably one of the strongest ones that I have ever met, she needs a lot of support; she endured way too much in the past, and I don’t want to see her break trying to bear too great a weight even for her, especially _now_.

We then resumed eating, while we also continued talking about topics related to our day in order to ease the tension related to Tifa’s pregnancy a little.

After we finish, Tifa decides to wash the plates we used to eat the fillet; probably she needs to settle things up after this lunch break.

“It’s just a matter of time before the customers will start arriving again, so I can’t let be found myself unprepared”.

I can’t help but to sigh; she is truly tireless.

“Do you need a hand?” I try to reiterate the question, knowing that she will probably turn down my request, yet I can’t just stand here doing nothing.

“Don’t worry Cloud, I think I can handle it by myself; I rather think you should take a break after a busy morning like yours” tells Tifa, her tone is very confident.

“I will manage to call you if I need some help, okay?” she adds trying to convince me, a bright smile on her lips.

“Fine; just don’t strain yourself too much, okay?” I tease her.

She just nods and I swear I can hear her mumbling something under her breath in an ironic tone, but I can’t distinguish it clearly.

I can’t help but smile; this is a typical sign of Tifa. No matter how stressful the situation might be, she always finds a way to be optimistic about it.

Given my free time, I head to the garage and I dedicate myself to make some adjustments and touch-ups to Fenrir.

In recent times, given the large amount of work, I haven’t been able to occupy the time I wanted to work on the bike; but at least now, due to the circumstances, I can finally do it, until the kids will come back from school, or Tifa asks me to help her at the bar.

For the moment I think I will enjoy some spare time.

_* * *_

After dinner Tifa and the kids remain seated at the table chatting while I dedicate myself to washing the dishes; it’s kind of a way to give her some space in order to relax with Denzel and Marlene.

From my place behind the counter, I can hear their chatter; Marlene seems pretty excited to talk about what she learned at school during the day, even Denzel seems quite satisfied about it too.

I perfectly know that the moment in which we will spill the beans is slowly coming, and yet I can’t still settle myself down.

Once finished, I drop the washing cloth into the sink, finally heading towards the table in which they are sitting.

I take a seat beside them and I start to listen to their conversation.

“That is great Marlene, you should tell it to Cloud too” Tifa intervenes to try to include me in the conversation.

Malene’s attention is now on me.

“Cloud, the teacher today was explaining to us that, four years ago, the geography of the world changed after that huge meteor almost fell upon us”.

“I heard you saying this sometimes when you were writing your maps, but I didn’t want to tell it to the teacher; that didn’t feel right at all”. Her tone, has now become more serious.

Ever since I’ve known her I’m always impressed by how Marlene proved to be particularly sensible; it is certainly one of her qualities that stand out the most.

“You did what you thought was the best, and it’s really a good thing; if you’ll think this way you could never be wrong”.

“Plus, I think that you teacher’s lessons might be a good way to learn something that you already know from a different perspective, “ I decide to be honest about it by supporting her choice.

She seems really happy about my words to the point that she just keeps chatting in a very active way, mostly about school facts. She, then, decides to include Denzel into the chat; today he is more vocal than usual.

Tifa, who is alwyas attentive to our conversations, and occasionaly gives her opinion about some subjects, gives me a quick glance; she is clearly telling me that this is the right moment for us.

By her looks, she is clearly determined.

I simply nod as in a way of understanding.

She doesn’t decide to go straight in, but instead she waits for our conversation to fade a little and then she breaks the proverbial ice.

“Denzel, Marlene, I know it’s starting to get pretty late, but Cloud and I wanted to tell you something…”.

My heart start to beat at a faster pace; I can clearly feel a slight lump in my throat as I hear her beginning.

I don’t know if this is a normal reaction, but my anxiety is starting to rise.

No matter how many fights against lethal monsters we faced together, no matter how many times we were closer to death in the battlefield, now I am definitely more scared than ever.

The kids’ expressions are puzzled; they give me a quick look to probe my reaction and then, they focus again on Tifa.

“Did we do something bad?” Marlene asks with the innocence typical for a child.

“N-no, it’s not like that; indeed it isn’t something bad…” she answers after following with a breathless laugh.

I don’t exactly know how my expression looks like, but I definitely feel at a loss for words.

I can’t do anything but to adjust myself in the seat out of discomfort.

Tifa instead, is trying to be serene, even though she is clearly making a strong effort to look calm.

“We are gonna have a baby… I’m pregnant; so you will be siblings”.

Their initial reaction takes me unprepared; both are incredulous as if the information isn’t still registered in their minds.

Both Marele and Denzel’s eyes are wide open, but they still haven’t said a single word.

Again, they give me another inquisitive look; their expressions are still pretty numb, but I try to give them a faint yet embarrassed smile as in a way to confirm what has been already said.

“Wow, congratulations!” Marlene is the first one to break the silence; she looks incredibly happy to the point that she is actually squealing. She then gets on her feet to hug Tifa.

“Thank you…” Tifa returns her hug in a very affectionate way.

Denzel is still looking at me with a blank expression, he probably hasn’t metabolized the whole thing yet.

I simply nod at him while putting on a smile; he nods back understanding what I want to communicate to him, then he heads towards Tifa.

“Congratulations Tifa,” he says in a low voice, almost sheepishly.

“Thank you Denzel,” she adds in a loving yet low voice tone, after which she waves him with her hand, to which he replies by getting closer to her and, finally hugging her.

Her eyes look swollen with tears unshed; those are probably happy tears. Somehow I’m deeply moved by this scene to a point in which I completely forgot the anxiety prior to our confession.

I decide to get closer to them, but as I get nearer Marlene hugs me in a frenetic way, she is clearly enthusiastic.

“Congratulations Cloud”.

“Thank you, ” I answer in a low voice tone, patting her head.

Denzel, who is still beside Tifa, just gives me a nod followed by a bright smile, which I happily reciprocate.

“So do you want a boy or a girl?” Marlene’s question takes us aback.

“W-we haven’t even thought about that, but we will be content if the children will be healthy and happy; what about you Marlene?” Tifa answers, still surprised by her question.

“Oh, it would be good if the baby is a girl, ” she answers without a second of hesitation.

“What about you Denzel, would you like a boy or a girl?” her attention is on him.

“M-me? Oh, well, I don’t know… ” the words come out from his mouth in a strongly shy manner.

“Can I feel the baby?” Marlene asks; she is still very happy about the news.

“Yeah, sure even though there isn’t still that much to feel yet, ” Tifa then proceeds to slightly lift up her shirt revealing the lower half of her abdomen.

After placing her hand on the bare skin, Tifa puts her hand atop of Marlene’s in order to guide her direction.

“I still haven’t noticed any strong change; the only difference is that this lower part is slightly tighter than usual,” Tifa adds; during these days she clearly got to inspect all the small changes that occurred in her body.

“Wow, this is incredible; I still can’t believe it!” Marlene, despite our confirmation, is still incredulous about it.

“Did you also told this to Daddy?”.

With this question she has clearly hit a weak spot.

Tifa’s eyes widen a little, she wasn’t expecting this type of question at all; trying to keep her cool she answers simply answers.

“About that… the baby was a total surprise for us, and we still aren’t sure if our past could have consequences on him or her, so we were waiting to tell this news to the others, ” these words still manage to hit me like a punch in the gut.

“But also, we were thinking about a way in which we can tell this to everyone, ”

“Like a party?” she practically completes Tifa’s sentence.

“Yeah, this sounds great! Like the party we did after Cloud healed Denzel from Geostigma at the church, “ Even Tifa now sound enthusiastic about this idea as well.

She makes eye contact with me one more time, as if in a way to ask if this is fine for me; I can’t help but to smile back at her. I promised that we would have talked about how we would manage to tell this to the others, but the answer practically came by herself, and that is perfect for me as much as it is for Tifa.

“This is great Tifa! I will help you decorate the bar… but even Cloud and Denzel will help us too, okay?”

“Sure they will, right guys?” She teases us.

We can’t do anything but to agree to her suggestion; if this could help Tifa and Marlene to be happy, I see no harm in satisfying her request; after all, this could help her by improving her mood, and this cannot be anything but good for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year to everytone! This new chapter took me a while, but I hope you'll enjoy it; just let me know what you think about it.


	5. A Glimpse Of Clarity - Tifa

Sitting in an exam room has been assuming a strange and a natural sense of acquaintance over time.

These white walls are becoming a crossroad between a safe area and a constant, yet faint anxiety dictated by the uncertainty that every doctor’s appointment brings with it.

The practitioner is intent in writing something that I can’t quite discern on a clipboard, her eyes are fixed on it.

After an indefinite amount of seconds, her gaze is finally back on me.

“Well, good morning Miss Lockhart, my colleague talked me about you; would you mind if I ask you if this is your first child?”. She gives me a genuine smile which is accentuated by her round features; her tone is really calm: on a second thought I would even define it sweet.

Judging by her look, she is rather young, probably slightly older than the doctor who visited me on my last appointment, but still enough young to be called such.

“Yes, this is my first one; actually my significant other and I have been already raising two children,” I answer in a very honest way; this kind of answer brings me back to the first doctor appointment: I think it is sorta becoming a routine answer to this question.

“It’s really nice to know that, I hope they have taken the news well,” She sounds pretty inclined to the idea of having a conversation with me; she is, also, probably aware, better than anyone, how tense someone could feel under circumstances such as a prenatal visit, and I can perfectly understand her intent to dissolve the patient’s accumulated tension with a lighthearted conversation.

I think, in a sense, it could really be helpful for me to slow down and relax.

“Yeah… indeed it was pretty strange at first”.

“That is normal after all; even though everyone experiences it in their own way, the most common reaction, especially among men, is bewilderment, ” Her words now assume a slightly more confidential and warm-hearted undertone, which strikes me in a really positive way.

“So, how have you been feeling recently?” Her question sounds so genuine that really stands out.

“Well, lately I’ve been feeling fine, despite feeling pretty worn out sometimes…”

“Any nausea or dizziness?” She adds.

“Not recently, but some days are worse than others,” I declare without hesitation.

“Don’t worry, this is perfectly normal, especially during the first trimester; it will slowly and naturally attenuate throughout the months,” I can’t deny the fact that her words are reassuring in more than a sense.

“About this, I would like to know something about your family medical history: every piece of information could be important, whether it has to do with you and your family or your partner’s, ”.

No matter how much I was preparing myself for this impending question, I'm still staggered to the point of being afraid to open up about the whole Jenova cells and the Geostigma subject matter.

“About my family medical history… when it comes to me, as far as I know, there aren’t any noteworthy aspects concerning hereditary diseases or chronic health problems, ” I feel like words are struggling to get out of my mouth.

She simply nods upon my statement, while keeping an attentive look fixed on me.

“But, about my partner…” I hesitate, but eventually manage to speak openly about it; I just can’t hold back for any reason when it comes to the baby’s well being.

“He used to be in SOLDIER, so he received Mako injections as well as Jenova cells… to be more specific, he suffered a Mako poisoning twice; also two years ago, he was infected by Geostigma… and I’m afraid that it could lead to some serious consequences on the baby, ” I can’t help but to feel like I’m suddenly drained of all my energies; speaking about this matter has never gotten easier over time, but I know it’s fundamental to overcome this aspect. It’s for our own good.

Her expression is unreadable; she almost looks like she is contemplating something, whether it is some crucial information or any important aspect surrounding the whole subject.

“I completely understand your concern Ms Lockhart,” she begins.

“When it comes to the influence of Mako and Jenova cells in organisms, it is still unclear what the actual consequences are, especially because the research has remained in Shinra’s hands ever since they started experimenting with them… ”.

“Hence the consequences they could have on developing fetuses during the gestation process are still relatively unknown to us. Many hypotheses have been formulated in the medical field; some specialists believe that inactive cells from the father can lead to the heredity of Jenova cells for the baby. Despite this, the subject matter is pretty divisive, so it’s really hard to come to an unambiguous conclusion”.

I simply nod at her; it’s really hard to answer or add something in a situation like this. I feel like I’m at a loss for words again; faced with this prospect, I am terribly scared of the idea of the effects it could have on the baby and how it could possibly affect his or her health.

_I can’t let myself sink only into negative thoughts._

Despite that, I can’t let the worst outcomes take me away.

_The research results are not entirely sure about the consequences that the Jenova cells might bring; besides, I can still hope…_

I have no idea if I’m thinking in this light to defend myself from the reality of the facts, or if I truly believe that our baby can be born without any influence dictated by out past in which the shadow of Shinra stands out, towering eerily upon us.

“On the other hand, as far as Geostigma is concerned, the situation is certainly clearer, although its origins are still partially a mystery; we certainly know that it started spreading since the Lifestream gushed out from the planet’s surface. Since the first infections were recorded, numerous cases of miscarriages have been found in mothers infected by the Stigma…” Her voice tone has lowered in an almost unperceivable way, giving it a slightly more concerned tinge.

This sentence hit me like a punch in the gut; I was prepared for every possible scenario, but hearing those words somehow managed to make me feel totally powerless towards everything.

“Your case, however, has got no precedents. Regardless, I understand you desire to disclose your doubts about your pregnancy… I just hope that I didn’t frighten you with all this information,” She sounds sincerely worried, which also highlights her strong humanity.

“N-no, it’s fine; besides, it’s important for me to learn about all the possible health consequences for the baby, ” Even though I am technically speaking the truth, there is also a part of myself which was extremely afraid to know the implications of the Jenova cells and the Geostigma; it’s almost like an ironical ambivalence.

“It’s completely understandable, and regarding that, it would be important to monitor the situation in the future; still, I wouldn’t like to make it sound extremely intimidating, ” A gentle smile crosses her features again.

“Speaking about which, I would like to run some tests on you; these are some of the most common and routine ones but they are extremely important, especially during the first trimester of the pregnancy,” Now her tone has become more serious, while also maintaining that composure and kindness that has distinguished her up until this moment.

She then proceeds to check my weight and to measure my waist; also, after taking my arm, she carefully measures my blood pressure.

Although I initially felt particularly nervous, I think I'm slowly getting used to this type of visit; it might have to do with the doctor’s attitude, which is good considering everything.

As the practitioner runs some more physical tests on me, she proceeds to draw a little sample of blood from the tip of my index finger. In addition to this, much like the first visit, she decides to run a urinalysis.

As she said before, these tests are crucial during this specific phase of the pregnancy, and I’m willing to undergo every single one of them to assure ourselves that the baby will be completely healthy.

As she scrutinizes the results of the tests that she took, I can almost feel every single second that separates me from the moment in which I’ll have more detailed information about how this pregnancy could possibly go.

As I readjust in the seat out of discomfort, I can almost feel a slight lump in the throat, caused by the impelling impatience to know some new information, even the smallest hint of it.

“Well then Ms. Lockhart, I must reassure you about the result of your tests: they were extremely well! the blood pressure is great, and also the urinalysis doesn’t show any type of abnormality, ” There is a soothing quality to her words, giving me an unexpected sense of relief.

“Thank you, ” I answer in a low, almost sheepish tone.

“Also, your weight is perfect in relation to your height; plus judging by your waist measurement, the baby is starting to grow nicely and in a slightly more noticeable way”.

It’s really hard to describe how I feel after this; I know that, when it comes to the Jenova cells, everything becomes unclear, and I also know that I shouldn’t get my hopes high, but I can’t help but feel slighlty uplifted by this.

_Cloud… I can’t wait to let him know everything._

My mind goes instinctively to him; ever since we apprehended about the pregnancy, our life has been turned upside down again, leading us having to seek once again the balance that, for years, we have struggled to achieve.

There was a time, two years ago, in which I wasn’t completely sure about our unconventional family; there were a lot of communication issues between me and Cloud, and I was extremely afraid of the idea that my feelings towards him weren’t reciprocated. Instead of discussing the subject directly with him, I decided to bottle everything up instead, thinking that, somehow, it could have helped to keep our family together.

Time and communication played an important role in understanding some aspect of our relationship; looking back to those times it feels kinda strange, especially considering where we are now.

_A baby… on the way for us._

My gaze is back on the practitioner.

“Like I said before, we don’t exactly know the consequences that Mako and the Jenova cells could have on the baby during the development process… so it will be really important to keep an eye on the progress of the gestation during the next visits”.

“But in the meantime, I would like you to take note of any symptoms that may seem atypical so that, at the next appointment, I can carry out some more in-depth tests, ” while she says this, her tone takes a more serious nuance, without however never lacking that courtesy she has shown up until now.

I feel like I’ve been brought back to reality after temporarily immersing myself in the warmth of my thoughts; I need a few more seconds to metabolize everything.

During the last week I was really cautious about any suspicious symptom that might have occurred and, due to the fact that there were no particular episodes, I had temporarily relaxed my grip in view of this first prenatal visit.

Now, however, because of her words, it seems that the question has taken on a concreteness that was missing before; a quality that adds a layer of tension to that thought that, since we learned about the pregnancy, has become a fixed nail in my thoughts and in Cloud’s.

“I understand; I will surely make an effort to notice any signs of atypical symptoms, ” I answer without hesitation.

Judging by her expression, she seems almost satisfied with my answer.

After taking some time to schedule my future visits, I gently greet her, but instead of immediately returning to Seventh Heaven, I decide to stop at one of the smaller markets near Edge’s central plaza that I usually frequent to buy some groceries.

…

After entering the Seventh Heaven from the main entrance and greeting some regulars who are sitting at the nearby tables, I can’t help but to notice Cloud who is serving a drink to a customer from behind the counter.

As I had booked the first prenatal visit, I certainly knew that I would have to close the bar for at least one morning. However, Cloud offered to replace me by taking a day off from work, even if it meant just filling in for me for a couple of hours.

I can’t deny that I initially felt really guilty about this: I know that, when the necessity calls, he clearly does an enormous effort to work in an environment, such as the Seventh Heaven, that requires frequent contact with numerous people, but still I felt like I was forcing him to do something in which he wasn’t comfortable at all, and on top of that, I would have made him occupy one of his free days.

I initially tried to decline his gentle offer, but he easily dismissed me by saying that, in this way, he could give me a hand, by taking an important load off me; and he also said that, at least, he would have had something to do on his day off.

_Cloud… he's done so much for me._

At this thought I can’t help but to feel guilty one more time; he really does his best to keep things going in the best way possible, but I feel like I’m not able to do the same for him.

_Not again..._

I’m actually starting to think that these are the first signs of pregnancy-related mood swings, although I’m not entirely sure about it. In any case, I can’t let myself down in this way. Cloud is doing his best for me, and I’m deeply grateful for that, and I’m willing to be there for him when he’ll need it. Especially now.

As I head towards the counter, my gaze meets Cloud’s, who is giving me a faint yet noticeable smile.

“Hi Cloud, I’m home, ” I began, while also putting the grocery bag on the counter.

“Welcome back Tifa, ” he gently greets me.

“How is everything going?” I respond, in teasing yet playful tone.

“Well, no one has complained yet, so I guess everything is going fine, ” he catches me, his tone is also pretty sarcastic too - I can’t help but to giggle at his statement.

“I don’t think they’d want to try to bother you, ” I follow, snickering a bit.

He just gives me a smug expression, followed by a breathless laugh.

“What about you Tifa, how did the visit go?” I can almost sense a hint of concern in his voice.

“The visit went pretty well… from what the doctor has been able to ascertain, it seems there are no anomalies regarding the baby, ” I declare in an earnest way, reaching out for Cloud’s hand, while also being careful not to let the customers hear me.

His eyes now seem to exude a renewed sense of relief.

“I know it’s still too early to be completely sure about how this pregnancy will go, but… I can’t help but to feel at ease, even if it’s for just a bit,” I blurt this out, being completely honest about the whole subject.

Cloud’s expression is unreadable, almost like he's contemplating something.

“Tifa… I think I feel the same way, so I completely understand you… But, no matter what will happen, I will still be here”.

I flinch at first. Cloud’s words, which sound so casual, actually strike a chord, and I can’t do anything but smile almost as a reflection of his words.

“Cloud… ” I begin, feeling almost speechless.

“Sorry if I bother you, but do you mind if we talk about this later in private, ” I actually feel guilty about the idea of leaving him on his toes, but I feel like I need some time alone with him to talk about the subject.

“Yeah, that’s fine, we will talk about it later; Seventh Heaven never feels intimate when it’s filled with customers, “ He simply answers in a sarcastic way.

“Promised?” He finally adds; considering our tendency to delay every single sensitive topic to a point in which we can’t do anything else but to confront it, it’s pretty strange that we are dealing with the issue with a relatively normal timing compared to our standards.

“Yeah, it’s a promise, ” I answer without a shadow of a doubt.

He just answers with a nod of understanding accompanied by his typical shy smile, to which I can’t help but to reciprocate.

“Are Denzel and Marlene at home?” I ask casually.

“Yeah, they're in the living room. Denzel is doing his homework, while Marlene is talking on the phone to Barret,”.

After thanking Cloud, I take the grocery bag and I head towards the living room upstairs to greet the kids; after all, the last time I saw them today was a couple of hours ago before I went to the doctor, and I wasn’t able to dedicate even a moment to them.

As I approach the living room, I can hear Marlene’s voice distinctly, who is particularly lively and engaged in a conversation about what she did during the past week.

As I enter the room, I am particularly careful not to make too much noise as not to disturb the kids; but as soon as I step into the room, Denzel is the first one to notice my presence.

“Hi Tifa, welcome back, ” although his voice tone is very calm, he seems very happy to see me.

“Hey Denzel, ” I waver at him, while also speaking in a lower voice tone in order to not disturb Marlene.

“How is everything going?” I sincerely ask.

“Except for the homework, pretty well, ” he counters following with a chuckle.

I can’t help but to snicker in turn.

In tone between curious and concern, Denzel asked: “What did the doctor say?”

I’m sincerely taken aback by this question. Despite his temperament being particularly heated at times, he has shown multiple times how he could be collected and attentive towards everything related to his family and the people who he deeply cares about; I can’t deny that I’m deeply moved by his concern.

“She said that the baby is fine and is growing nicely; also, she hasn’t found any anomalies, so we relax, for now, ” I say these words even before I realize that I am instinctively smiling.

Denzel’s expression is unreadable; his eyes widen a little, before nodding at me.

“I-I’m really happy about it, ” he says in an almost sheepish manner.

“So do I… I think we should tell this to Marlene; she will be really happy to know this too”.

As I say this, Marlene notices my presence; she looks rather surprised to see me.

“Oh, H-hi Tifa; Daddy, Tifa is back home, ” she greets me, while also being careful to not interrupt her conversation with Barret.

“Would you like to talk with Tifa?”.

As she says this, she hands me the phone that Cloud keeps in his office in order to take orders from the Strife Delivery Services clients.

“Hello?” I answer to the phone in an almost teasing tone.

 _“Hey Tifa! How you doin’?”_ from the other side of the phone, Barret’s voice sounds incredibly cheerful as usual.

Marlene heads towards my direction, eventually leaning on me, almost like if she wants to hug me; I can’t help but to reciprocate this gesture by patting her hand with my free hand.

“Hey Barret, everything’s good here, how are you doing?”

 _“Everything’s fine here; I’m still doing what I can here in North Corel; there is a man that I’ve known ever since I came here years ago, his name is Sasaki; he is pretty old, so he needs more than a hand sometimes, ”_ He answers in a really earnest way, more like a stream of consciousness, typical of Barret.

“That’s great, really! Have you got to meet the others sometimes?” I ask out of curiosity.

_“Yeah, sure; Like usual, I got to see Cid and Shera in Rocket Town; he is doing some modification on that ol’ busted airship, so I lend him a hand sometimes”._

_“What about you? How is Spiky? Is he treating you well?”_

“Yeah, Cloud is fine; today he took a free day from work, so he had to relax a bit, even though he is not that type of guy…”.

As I speak about Cloud’s activities during the day, I constantly come back to the important news that I’m hiding from him and also from the rest of the others; no matter how many times I hide something or I lie to someone really important for me, I just can’t get used to old feeling: A sense of guilt that I never seem to get rid off.

Somehow I feel like I’m forgetting something, but I can’t exactly figure out **what** I’m actually missing.

As Barret and I continue to chat about our everyday’s life, I casually make eye contact with Marlene, who was actually staring at me for an indefinite amount of time.

Judging by her look, it looks like she wants to communicate something.

In a second, as if struck by an unexpected intuition, I understand what Marlene wants to tell me.

_Right: the party! I was about to completely forget about it._

_Now that we’ve been assured that my health and the baby’s are good, I think this might be the best moment to tell him about the party._

“Barret… you know, I would like to ask you something, ” I probe the ground.

_“Yeah, tell me Tifa”._

“Cloud and I were thinking about throwing a party next week… you know, it’s been a lot since we don’t see each other, so we thought it might be great to reunite with everyone to enjoy a night altogether,” as the words leave my mouth, I really start to hope that he would really like to join us with this idea.

_“Of course, Tifa! That’s a great idea; plus it would be great to see my little Marlene. Ya know, it’s kind of strange that Spiky is so into the idea of a party; If you didn’t tell me I wouldn’t have believed it: something must have happened to him, ” his tone is strongly jovial, but it has also visibly softened._

A cold shiver runs down my spine; although my excuse was quite simple, in fact the reason behind this party could easily raise some doubts.

“Ehm, you know; I tried to push him into this, and after a bit of bribery, I finally convinced him, ” I try so hard to hold back a short but hysterical giggle.

 _“Hah! That’s great Tifa; I think this might be good for him, making him come out of his shell might be a great idea!“_. My excuse turned out to be more convincing than expected.

After another brief chat, we say goodbye, and after hanging up the phone I let out a heavy sigh. I instantly feel lighter.

“Tifa, is everything okay?” Marlene asks in a concerned way.

“Yeah, it’s just that I couldn’t keep this little lie up for too long, ” I finally admit this to Marlene and Denzel, who has finished his homework and now he is intent on listening to our conversation.

“I hope you feel better now, ” Marlene adds.

“Yes, I’m definitely better now, ” I counter, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face.

“What about the doctor’s appointment, is the baby fine?” she impatiently asks; I bet she was waiting for the right moment to ask this question.

“As far as the doctor said, the baby is growing nicely, and we are both in good health… so, for now, we don’t need to worry, ” I declare, putting up a smile.

“Oh, Tifa, I’m so happy, ” after saying this, she proceeds to hug me in a very loving way.

Her act moves me so deeply that I’m actually fighting to hold back the tears.

“Thank you; I’m really happy too, ” I answer, hugging her back.

After a short amount of seconds, Marlene breaks the hug to look me in the eyes.

“So, you will tell them about the baby during the party?” she asks, almost like she needs to have a definitive confirmation about it.

“Yeah; I think we will wait for the right moment, maybe after dinner to tell them about everything, so you won’t have to hide this to Barret anymore”.

“This is great; I wonder how daddy will react”.

“Yeah, I wonder too…”.

Although I try to picture this perspective into my mind, I’m actually unable to imagine a scenario that looks realistic to me.

Barret was the first person that I knew when I arrived in Midgar, right after my martial arts master Zangan saved me from the consequences of the Nibelheim incident.

To me, Barret represented home, a safe place to come back to, as much as Avalanche and the Seventh Heaven were. When he was out taking care of business related to Avalanche, I took care of Marlene ever since she was little; they considered me as part of their family ever since, and nothing has changed since those days.

He was almost like a father figure to me, he was a model, especially in the early days when I still needed to understand what I could do to rebuild what I lost in my life. As a man who lost almost everything prior to the Avalanche days, I bet he could understand how a sixteen year old young girl, new to Midgar's slums and without a home to come back to, might have felt.

This is probably why, the idea of giving Barret news like this seems pretty upsetting for me: simply because I feel like I have to give this kind of news to a person who always stood out like a father to me, and like any daughter, I would probably be embarrassed at first to tell him something so important and life changing me and Cloud, as well as for the kids themselves.

_Now that I’ve invited Barret, all that remains is to let the others know about the party… but I think I will deal with it later._

After being away from home all morning, I need to sort out some unfinished businesses and chores both around the house and the bar. Now that I think about it, I should give Cloud a hand with the customers; although he willingly offered to help me, I don’t think he wouldn’t appreciate If I give him a hand, but before…

“Alright kids, now that you’ve done all your homework, you can go out and play if you want to, ” their eyes sparkle with joy as they hear me say these words.

“Thank you, this is great! See you later Tifa!” they both exclaim in an ecstatic way.

“See you later… oh, remember to come back before it gets dark!” As soon as I say this, they are already out of the room.

“Yeah, sure!” Denzel’s voice says, running from down the stairs.

I can’t do anything but feel happy in front of their cheerfulness, even the thought brings a smile upon my face.

After having emptied the grocery bag on the table and put the content in the pantry, I decide to head back once again to the bar, hoping that Cloud would be willing to finally let me help him.

_* * *_

After we put the kids to bed, we finally head to our bedroom to have some time to fully dedicate to ourselves before going to sleep.

“Tifa… would you like to talk about today’s visit?” Cloud’s tone is calm as usual, although I can perceive how curious he is to know any kind of news, even the slightest, as long as it can help him to clarify the situation.

As he says this, he proceeds to pull down the zip of his turtle neck sleeveless shirt, taking it off; after that he wears his casual white pajama t-shirt.

“Yeah, sure; after all a promise is a promise, ” as much as I am trying to stay calm, I am really eager to tell him everything I learned today; he has done so much for me and he’s been on his toes for too long; the least I can do is giving him some information that can finally reassure him.

His gaze is on me.

“After the practitioner examined the results of the tests that she run on me, she found that my health condition and the baby’s are really fine; also he or she is starting to grow in a more visible way, ” I begin, not holding back a smile.

“I’m not entirely sure, but we finally averted the possibility of a miscarriage, ” I finally admit, feeling suddenly lighter.

Initially, it seems that the information hasn’t reached him yet; his face looks almost blank: but, in a second moment, as if hit by something so impetuous to shake him from the foundations, he hugs me.

This particular gesture, just like Marlene’s before, manages to move me so radically that the tears are really beginning to flow down my face.

In his embrace I can feel all the sense of relief that Cloud feels and, despite not saying a single word, it is as if, with a single gesture, he eloquently discusses with me.

Leaning on his shoulder, I feel free to vent all the emotions I had bottled up during these weeks prior to the doctor’s visit. It’s in moments like this that I wish I could stay like this forever.

After gently breaking the hug, Cloud and I make a brief eye contact. Without saying any words further, he sits on the bed next to me.

“Despite this…” I add, once again. I can almost feel Cloud’s attention back on me.

“Despite this, the doctor also added that, the true extent of the influence due to the Jenova cells hasn’t been fully understood yet, making everything more uncertain and complex… ” I add, visibly shaken by the memory of the practitioner’s words.

Cloud doesn’t answer this. He doesn’t even flinch, but it looks like he froze just like when I announced the pregnancy to him.

Even if he didn’t react explicitly, he is probably overthinking, judging by his frowning expression.

Gently leaning my hand on his face, I try my best to get him out of his downward spiral of thoughts, which could seriously wear him down in the long run.

As I touch his cheek, he snaps out of his almost catatonic state, making eye contact one more time and hinting a faint smile he places his hand upon mine.

“Cloud, please tell me… what are you thinking? Don’t bottle everything up… please, talk to me, I will listen, ” these words come out of my mouth in a lower, almost murmured way, sounding like a plea.

“Tifa… it’s just that all of this… I’m probably scared about the consequences that it could have on you, and the baby,” he sounds extremely hesitant, almost as if he is about to stumble upon his own words.

While I gently caress his face, I lean closer to him and, placing my free hand upon it, I run it along his cheekbone, making me feel somehow strangely relaxed.

As we lean closer to each other our lips meet in a short kiss.

“We promised we would have always been together in this situation, don’t we? ”

“Yeah” Cloud answers, almost whispering.

“I will be here with you Cloud, no matter what,” I declare firmly, almost as if in this way I would subconsciously reassure ourselves.

Cloud, keeping his aquatic blue gaze infused with the green tinges of Mako on me, simply nods, putting on a bright smile, almost like the heavy aura surrounding him disappeared, leaving space to a brighter optimism.

Just like Denzel, it happens that Cloud, in the last period, during the moments of silence, assumes a very frowned and pensive expression, as if an obsessive thought doesn’t give him peace.

My mind can’t help but to go back to his darkest period, when the growing loneliness devoured him from the inside, leaving him no chance to enjoy even the most carefree moments spent with our family.

Somehow, I feel like he is silently scourging himself over something that he believes he can find a solution without confronting me for fear of putting too much weight on my shoulder.

Cloud is a human, and despite his good intentions and his strong will, he has a breaking point too, and I believe that pushing himself to it is not healthy at all for him.

_I **should** do something._

As much as I would like to address the subject matter with him right now, I know that forcing him to talk about it would be totally wrong, as I strongly believe that respecting our personal spaces is of vital importance for both of us.

Because of that, I have to keep an eye on him so that we can talk about it, at the right moment, so as not to create barriers between us.

“I think you should take a rest Tifa… after all, you didn’t stop for a second today, and this afternoon you didn’t even take a break, ” He suggests, his tone is soft yet so calm.

“Yeah, you are definitely right, ” I can’t help but to agree.

After unzipping my leather top removing my white shirt, I wear my typical white tank top that I use to go to bed; this time, however, I can’t help but to give an inquisitive look at my abdomen, which, to a closer eye, looks slightly rounder around the lower region, even though it doesn’t look extremely noticeable.

“Do you think I'm showing?” I genuinely ask to Cloud, after I rest my hand on the lower, yet not accentuated, slope of it.

Cloud look bewildered at first, but on a second thought he simply answers:

“I don’t exactly know, but if I look closely I can see some differences compared to last week”.

I just smile back at him and, after that, we slip under the covers.

I can’t help but to lay one hand on my belly almost in an unconscious and protective way; Cloud leans towards me and, after putting his arm around me in his loving and typical way, he conforms to body position.

He, then, proceeds to carefully stroke my face in a slow and rhythmic way, and I can’t help but to lean into his touch.

“So, when we were at dinner, you were saying you told Barret about the party?” Cloud asks.

“Yeah, I told him that we were throwing a party next week, and he was really happy to know that you were willing to participate, ” to which he snickers.

“Did you already talk to the others about it?”

“Mmm, not yet… I think I will do it tomorrow, ” I answer with a low growling tone, as Cloud’s hand gently brushes my cheek.

As I meet Cloud’s gaze, I notice that he seems to be struggling over something I can’t initially understand; it’s only on a second thought that I understand what troubles him.

“If you want to feel there is no need to worry, ” I gently offer to him.

He flinches at first, but slowly and carefully he puts his hand on my stomach; his hand presses so lightly that he seems frightened of the idea that he might hurt me by doing this.

Almost as if I want to reassure him, I put my hand on top of his, squeezing it lightly.

From his initial reaction of astonishment, his expression slowly changes into a tender and shy smile, which makes my heart flutter almost like a natural reaction.

Seeing him so peaceful really puts me at ease, making me forget, even if it’s just for the moment, his extremely conflicted expression that had been painted on his face.

Still leaning onto his touch, I let myself be dragged into a sleep that, lulling me, it allows me to let sink everything turbulent that has to do with our past: Shinra, Mako, Jenova Cells… I wish I could forget about it forever, if that could mean our serenity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to move and shift around Strife family; I hope you will enjoy this one!

**Author's Note:**

> And that's the first chapter, I hope you'll like it; more of it will come in the future :)


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